Tyrion Lannister's 5 Best Quotes From 'Game Of Thrones'

Acclaimed actor Peter Dinklage turns 45 today, and in celebration of his birthday we scoured all four seasons of Game Of Thrones for the best, funniest or most outright astounding quotes from his beloved character Tyrion Lannister.

From his love of wine to his total hatred of King Joffrey, Here are Tyrion's five best (work appropriate) quotes from Game Of Thrones…

"It's not easy being drunk all the time. If it were easy, everyone would do it."

The only thing Tyrion loves more than his many ladies is his liquor, and even when he's drunk he's still ten times better spoken that everyone else when they're sober.

JOFFREY: “Everyone is mine to torment! You'd do well to remember that, you little monster.”

TYRION: "Perhaps you should speak to me more softly then. Monsters are dangerous and, just now, kings are dying like flies."

Wow, how prophetic. Despite his diminutive stature, he can still fill you with dread.

“My brother has his sword, and I have my mind. A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.”

While Tyrion may not have the battle prowess of his brother Jaime, he's mind is sharper than any sword.

“It's hard to put a leash on a dog once you've put a crown on its head.”

Seriously, Joffrey was just the absolutely worst, and Tyrion's elegant way with words was much better than America's collective guttural cries of disgust whenever that boy king showed his stupid face.

"I wish I was the monster you think I am! I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you! I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it!"

From Tyrion's impassioned speech after being put on trial for a murder he didn't commit, this flash of intense and vitriolic rage was one of the first real times you saw inside the roiling torment brewing in Tryion's brain.