Georgina Chapman is opening up about how her life has been upended since her estranged husband Harvey Weinstein's sexual misconduct scandal broke last October.
In a candid interview with Vogue, the 42-year-old Marchesa designer says she hasn't been out in five months.
“I was so humiliated and so broken . . . that . . . I, I, I . . . didn’t think it was respectful to go out,” she explains. “I thought, Who am I to be parading around with all of this going on? It’s still so very, very raw."
Chapman and 66-year-old Weinstein married in December 2007 and share two kids together, 7-year-old daughter India and 5-year-old son Dashiell. In January, a source told ET that the two have reached a divorce settlement. The former model says that the two did in fact have a good relationship prior to the scandal.
“That’s what makes this so incredibly painful: I had what I thought was a very happy marriage," she says. "I loved my life. ... He’s a wonderful father to my kids."
She also explains what initially attracted her to him.
"He’s charismatic. He’s an incredibly bright, very learned man," she notes. "And very charitable. He paid for a friend of mine’s mother, who had breast cancer, to go to a top doctor. He was amazing like that. He is amazing like that. That is the tough part of this . . . this black-and-white thing . . . life isn’t like that.”
"Absolutely not. Never," Chapman replies when asked if she was ever suspicious of his behavior.
“And I’ve never been one of those people who obsesses about where someone is," she adds of his frequent traveling.
Still, Chapman does acknowledge to being " terribly naive," and says she is most affected by how her children have had to deal with the fallout.
"I have moments of rage, I have moments of confusion, I have moments of disbelief!" she shares, shedding tears. "And I have moments when I just cry for my children. What are their lives going to be? What are people going to say to them? It’s like, they love their dad. They love him. I just can’t bear it for them!”
Though when it comes to herself, she doesn't want anyone feeling sorry for her.
“I don’t want to be viewed as a victim, because I don’t think I am," she shares. "I am a woman in a sh** situation, but it’s not unique.”
These days, she is seeing a therapist and focusing on getting her children settled. Chapman is selling the three homes she shared with Weinstein, and planning to live on a farm in upstate New York.
“At first I couldn’t, because I was too shocked," she recalls of deciding to seek therapy. "And I somehow felt that I didn’t deserve it. And then I realized: This has happened. I have to own it. I have to move forward.”
Scarlett Johansson recently made headlines with her decision to wear Marchesa at the Met Gala, the first major celebrity to wear a design by the fashion house on the red carpet since the scandal broke. Chapman says in the Vogue interview that it was her decision to cancel Marchesa's fall 2018 collection in January, but that a number of celebrities have reached out to her in support.
"We didn’t feel it was appropriate given the situation,” she notes about the canceled show and pulling back. “All the women who have been hurt deserve dignity and respect, so I want to give it the time it deserves. It’s a time for mourning, really.”
In a statement to ET last October, Weinstein said he takes "full responsibility" for the pain he has caused his family after Chapman announced she was planning to leave him.
"Over the last week, there has been a lot of pain for my family that I take responsibility for," the statement read. "I sat down with my wife Georgina, who I love more than anything, and we discussed what was best for our family. We discussed the possibility of a separation and I encouraged her to do what was in her heart. In the end, she made the decision to separate. I understand, I love her and I love our children and hopefully, when I am better, I will be in their lives again. I support her decision, I am in counseling and perhaps, when I am better, we can rebuild."