Amid Johnny Depp's recent explosive Rolling Stone profile, a source tells ET that the actor is working hard to stay on track, and wants people to know he is a "good guy."
Depp addressed his highly publicized legal battles over his finances and reports of his extravagant spending in the in-depth magazine interview, and was also shockingly candid about his history of drug use, as well as his current drinking and smoking habits. At one point, Depp reminisces about using quaaludes, and also admits he spent more than $30,000 a month on wine.
"Johnny has suffered the most painfully difficult couple years of his life and part of him just wants for people to know he is a good guy,” the source says of Depp's revelations. “He actually feels the need to write a memoir not just to understand himself and the pain he has experienced, but also to share with the world that in real life he is not a villain.”
"I was as low as I believe I could have gotten,” he recalled. “The next step was, ‘You’re going to arrive somewhere with your eyes open and you’re going to leave with your eyes closed.’ I couldn’t take the pain every day.”
The source acknowledges that the death of Depp's mother, Betty Sue, in 2016 after a battle with cancer and his marriage to Heard simultaneously falling apart was "more than he could bare." However, the source says Depp is now looking forward to his future projects as well as vigorously battling the lawsuit over his financial troubles. Depp's former business associates filed a countersuit against the actor last February, after the actor filed a lawsuit in mid-January against The Management Group (TMG) and its associates for allegedly defrauding him and mismanaging his money.
“Johnny is ready to move forward with his music and movies, clean up his money issues and prove his former financial team's accusations wrong," the source says. "He is looking to the light at the end of the tunnel and I think he feels it's already starting to shine for him.”
As for fans' concerns earlier this month after photos of him in Russia were shared on social media -- in which they commented that he looked "thin" -- our source says there's no need to worry about the actor's health.
"He is not physically sick at all,” the source says. “When he heard people were talking about his appearance, he was actually deeply offended that anyone thought his appearance was related to a health condition.”
“Johnny is very sensitive about being talked about in a negative way," the source adds. "He hates the idea of his fans having any disparaging or incorrect opinions of him. Lately he has been obsessed with the idea that people make up false stories about him ... He was full of energy and there are no signs of ailing health.”
The source also points out that Depp "loves the rock star look.”
“Johnny actually likes the fact he has lost some weight," the source says. "He idolizes rock stars like Iggy Pop and Keith Richards and they have always been very slim."
Depp has been touring with his band, The Hollywood Vampires. He also told Rolling Stone that aside from touring, he started writing a memoir on an old manual typewriter -- like his idol, writer Hunter S. Thompson -- to deal with his depression.
“I poured myself a vodka in the morning and started writing until the tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t see the pages anymore,” he tearfully said. “I kept trying to figure out what I’d done to deserve this. I tried being kind to everyone, helping everyone, being truthful to everyone.”
“The truth is most important to me," he added. "And all this still happened."