Kesha Recalls the ‘Final Straw’ in Her Eating Disorder Battle

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Kesha at Time 100 Gala
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Time

Kesha is opening up about her life, career, and body image struggles in the June issue of Cosmopolitan, recalling the life-changing “turning point” moment in her battle with an eating disorder.

“The final straw was when I was with my mom at a family dinner party and I was so anxious. Driving home, I had to pull over, and I was like, I can’t keep this secret anymore,” the 31-year-old singer recalls. “It was scary, but I finally put my foot down and chose life. That was a huge turning point.”

Since then, the singer says, she’s started to become more accepting of herself. “I’m not a size. I’m not a number. I am a strong, badass, motherf**king woman, and quite frankly, I like my junk. Ten years ago, I never thought I’d be able to say that.”

Cosmopolitan

Kesha broke on the music scene in 2009, with a brazen, tough-girl image that she admits was hard to shake as her career and sense of self evolved.

“I thought I had to be very tough and really strong and portray that I didn’t give a f**k, and that just was not the case,” she recalls. “I was pretending like everything was great all the time.”

The “Praying” singer channeled her personal struggles, as well as her tumultuous legal battle with former producer Dr. Luke, in her new album, Rainbow, which she says was a cathartic, and rewarding, experience.

“I would write, and pain would turn into art, and the art would turn into healing, and the heal­ing turned into a record,” she notes. “And then I was nominated for a GRAMMY!”

Next, she’s teaming up with rapper Macklemore for the 30-city Adventures of Kesha and Macklemore tour, which kicks off in Phoenix on June 6.

“I’ve taken ownership of myself,” Kesha says of her new creative pursuits. “I’m taking control of my life and my name and the music it’s attached to.”

As for the tour, she assures that it will still have the same Kesha energy that fans have come to expect.

“I’m not, like, a sad sap now. There are a couple of ballads, but my show is still extremely fun,” she promises. “I’m not going to be less crazy. There’s an awesome band, and there’s dancing and glitter. That’s a promise I will keep—there will always be glitter.”

Kesha’s Cosmopolitan cover story hits newsstands on May 8. See more on the singer in the video below.

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