All of Santa's Reindeer, Ranked From Best to Worst
By John Boone
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (reindeer) may have a very shiny nose (like a light bulb), but there are eight other reindeer on his team who all have plenty of good qualities too. So yes, Rudolph may be the most famous reindeer of all, but who is the best?
From best to worst, a ranking of all of Santa’s reindeer:
1. Vixen: We love a strong, confident woman. Vixen is the only female reindeer on the team (hello, glass ceiling!) and continuously defies the expectations of her misogynistic male colleagues. #LeanIn
2. Prancer: So kind. So sweet. So sure of himself. Such a sensitive soul. It’s no wonder why Prancer was the only other reindeer to inspire a spinoff movie of his own (called Prancer, look it up on IMDB).
3. Rudolph: You probably assumed Rudolph would get the No. 1 spot, right? What a boring list that would be. We love an underdog, but after a while it’s like, “Ugh, we get it Rudolph.” Still, he did save Christmas.
4. Dancer: He may not be the strongest member of the team. He may not the bravest, or the smartest, or a natural born leader, per se, but Dancer is true to himself. And you assume he is a pretty good dancer, right?
5. Comet: The jock. Comet isn’t some meathead though, he’s really breaking stereotypes here. He’s more than he appears to be, and really deserves a “Four for you, Comet! You go, Comet!”
6. Cupid: A solid 5 out of 10. Cupid is the perfect middle point of this group. Exceptionally average — the point at which we move from reindeer who are the best to the least best (i.e. the worst).
7. Donner: If Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (the stop motion animation one, obviously) is to be believed, Donner is the “hide it under a bushel, YES!” type. Worry about yourself, dude. What a h8r.
8. Dasher: What a kiss ass. Dasher is that kid in class who reminds the teacher to assign everyone homework. And so pretentious. GET OVER YOURSELF, DASHER. No one cares! You wannabe Prancer-actin’ scrub...
9. Blitzen: Ugh, what is this guy trying to prove?!
To keep with the holiday spirit, check out ET’s Christmas playlist now: