A Field Guide to Celebrity Spotting at the Mayweather-Pacquiao Fight
By John Boone
There are approximately 20,000 seats in the MGM Grand forum where Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao will duke it out on May 2. Only 600 or so of those seats were put up for sale, with the other tens of thousands reserved for the entourages, VIPs and celebrities. Which means there are going to be more famous people than you could shake stick at.
Here is a field guild to help you keep track of which celebrities you might see:
Classification: Justin BieberShortlittleus punk Affiliation: Team Mayweather The Shortlittleus punk has a symbiotic relationship with the Mayweather, much like those little birds that eat things off a hippo’s back. Except they both just use the other one to get more attention. Where to Spot Him: As close to Mayweather as possible at all times. Warning: Should you encounter this species, you must establish dominance immediately. But do NOT deny this celebrity access to any backstage areas or after parties, as this will result in nonsense you do not want to deal with.
Classification: Nicki MinajBosseus assbitcheus Affiliation: Team Mayweather The Bosseus assbitcheus is not a businesswoman, she’s a business, woman. So her natural instincts draw her to the spectacle as a business maneuver, hosting not one, but two club parties (and collecting the paycheck that comes with making appearances at those clubs). Make that money, Onika! Where to Spot Her: At the Tropicana on Fri., May 1, for “Nicki Minaj & Friends Pre-Fight of the Century Party,” and at Chateau Nightclub on Sat., May 2. Buy your tickets now!
Classification: Mark WahlbergSayeus hitoyourmotherformes Affiliation: Team Pacquiao Where to Spot Him: Be alert for this species’ native call: “[thick Boston accent] AYE YO THAT WAS A WICKED GOOD PUNCH.” Note: Should the Sayeus hitoyourmotherformes temporarily mistake himself for one of actual fighters and attempt to enter the rink, refrain him by whispering “You’re Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. You’re Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch” over and over.
Classification: RihannaRihanna Affiliation: Undeclared The Rihanna is the rarest of species and any sightings should immediately be reported on every form of social media (we’re talking Twitter, people, we’re talking Insta, we’re talking Snapchat). A common Rihanna will separate herself from the pack by giving zero f*cks and having a fierce side-eye. Where to Spot Her: Wherever the f*ck she wants to be. Warning: Approach the Rihanna at your own risk. But also, do it anyway, because IT’S RIHANNA.
Classification: Tom BradyGisele Bündchen’s husband Affiliation: Team Mayweather You can distinguish a common Tom Brady by his sweater sets and ever-changing plumage (in the past, his hair has been similar to the Shortlittleus punk, though the two could not be more different). Where to Spot Him: Maybe at the bar? Or placing a bet? We don’t know what Tom Brady does in Vegas. We don’t know how the Tom Brady and the Mayweather are even friends? Maybe he’ll be the loudest one cheering during the fight because sports? Note: Keep your eyes pealed for the superior species Gisele Bündchen.
Classification: DiddyPuffus p. daddyus Affiliation: Team Mayweather The Puffus p. daddyus has declare this weekend a “party war” and his natural instincts will find him stopping at nothing until he has won that war. You can distinguish this species by his bottles of Cîroc and sunglasses even if he’s inside. Where to Spot Him: Follow the smell of marijuana.
Classification: Khloe KardashianKardashianus khloe Affiliation: Undeclared Where to Spot Her: Peacocking on any number of red carpets, as the Kardashianus subset is drawn to bright flashes. Alternatively, peacocking within the inner circles of a rap posse. Note: The Kardashianus khloe is a harmless variety of the Kardashianus species, but beware of the Kardashianus kim, who has a pack mentality, or the Kardashianus kylie, who is a sassy teen.
Classification: 50 CentShadeieus bitchum Affiliation: Undeclared (but likely Team Pacquiao) The Shadeieus bitchum is a fierce foe of the common Mayweather. He publicly challenged Mayweather to read a page from a Harry Potter book, then changed his offer to The Cat in the Hat. It was hilarious. Where to Spot Him: On Instagram, talking sh*t. Note: The MGM Grand is not the Shadeieus bitchum’s natural environment, so you may not spot him. But if you do, get ready ‘cause that means there’s going to be draaaaaaaaaama!
Other celebrities you should keep an eye out for: Will Smith, Shaq, Adriana Lima, Jamie Foxx,Liev Shrieber, and more. We’ll keep an eye out for them too, because ETonline will be liveblogging from the fight in Vegas all weekend!
Until then, check out Entertainment Tonight’s look at the Power of Mayweather: