"My two best friends planned a surprise birthday party with a big surprise within the surprise," Jennifer explained.
You don't say?
As people started singing "Happy Birthday" to Jennifer, her biggest dream started to come true. "Kris Jenner comes out holding my cake, which is a pile of s**t, with a sign that says, 'Happy Birthday You Pile of S**t.' My knees buckled," she said.
Obvs they did.
The die-hard Kardashian fan was apparently so excited that she literally fell down. But, hey, she's done that before.
"It was the closest I've ever come to losing consciousness," Jennifer said. "I had NO IDEA. I'd never met her before but we’ve always watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians. And then Kris Jenner and I sang 'Build Me Up Buttercup' on karaoke and took that picture."
And that picture refers to this picture:
We have so many questions. Where exactly was this birthday party that there was both a bed and karaoke machine in close proximity to one another? What does a s**t cake look like? Is it like a poop emoji in dessert form? Is Jennifer officially a member of the Kardashian krew now? Can Kris legally adopt a grown 25-year-old woman and become her momager? And, most importantly, why haven't we seen that karaoke video?
Kris, 59, posted the original jaw-dropping photo, which was taken by her boyfriend, Corey Gamble. "Happy Birthday you piece of s**t," she captioned the Instagram. "God I love you #jenniferlawrence thanks for making this night a night to remember…..even if we did get caught… I love you Happy Birthday Gorgeous!!!"
Are you sensing a theme, or just the fact that they really love saying s**t? We're actually fine with both, but we have to be, otherwise we'll focus too long on how we wish we could correct that punctuation.
Sorry. We'll go back to letting you enjoy the glory that was J.Law’s birthday moment, and also, more GIFs of her because they are everything.
There we go!
Kris will make a fine addition to Jennifer's #GirlSquad, which already includes Amy Schumer. Lucky for us, J.Law will be collaborating with the comedian soon. Find out about the movie project in the video below.