You really must watch the clip to get the full effect (and to witness his spot-on use of the poop emoji), but here's what he said:
"A few days ago Miley Cyrus gave an interview to the New York Times in which she said some unflattering things about Nicki Minaj. The Times reporter asked about the Taylor Swift-Nicki Minaj feud -- Twitter feud -- leading up to the VMAs. Miley said Nicki was jealous and unkind and impolite. So when Nicki Minaj accepted her VMA for best Hip-Hop video for 'Anaconda,' she ended her speech by insulting Miley Cyrus and Nicki said, as you heard, 'This b**** that had a lot to say about me the other day in the press,' and then the camera cut to Miley, who looked shocked and upset. And then the camera cut back to Nicki, who mouthed the words, 'Don't play with me b****.' And then Kanye announced he was running for President. And then -- the world ended."
Cyrus may have been briefly shaken up by the drama, but the show must go on! And it did -- all the way to the press room backstage, where she actually passed a joint around amongst photographers. No, we're not joking. See for yourself in the video below.