Sorry, Miss Tina, your birthday week is officially OVER.
Because four years ago today, the one true supreme, our future Illuminati overlord, a toddler born to two people who happen to be famous, Blue Ivy Carter, was born. The only child of Jay Z and Beyoncé will surely have an extra special b'day this year, as four is her parents' favorite number. It's even part of her name. (Ivy = IV = FOUR!)
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To celebrate, here are 16 -- because four times four equals -- things that Blue Ivy is definitely better at doing than you:
1. Blue Ivy is better at getting carried to private planes than you:
2. Better at wearing matching bathing suits with Beyoncé on private yachts:
3. And better at holding Beyoncé’s phone while Beyoncé is in her underwear:
4. Blue Ivy is definitely better at burying Beyoncé in the sand than you:
5. Better at hitting her marks on that choreo:
6. Better at meeting and greeting her fans:
“So nice to meet you, too.”
7. Blue Ivy is a better amateur entomologist than you:
8. And a better gay icon than you:
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9. Blue Ivy is better at serving Madeline in Paris realness than you:
10. Better at getting half a million likes for a picture of her toe:
11. And better at getting 725,000 likes for a picture of her foot:
Those extra toes are worth an extra 250k likes.
12. Blue Ivy is a better impressionistic painter than you:
13. She’s better at keeping her edges in check than you:
14. And better at presenting lifetime achievement awards on nationally broadcast shows than you:
15. Blue Ivy is better at flossing on all you no’s:
16. And, NBD, she’s better at looking like Beyoncé:
Oh, and did we forget to mention that Blue Ivy wears $2,100 dresses from Bergdorf Goodman? When will your faves??