We're only just getting to the part in Keeping Up With the Kardashians where Khloé Kardashian finds out that estranged husband Lamar Odom OD'ed in a brothel, but we already want to skip ahead to whatever season features Rob Kardashian's return and the reveal that he is dating Blac Chyna.
To unwind exactly how insane this romance is, we need to go waaaay back...
Point 1: Kanye West Dated Amber Rose Pre-Kim Kardashian
Amber was with Yeezy for two years, back when he was drinking Hennessy at award shows and telling Taylor Swift, "I'm really happy for you, I'mma let you finish, but..." -- in Gregorian terms, that means up until 2010. Their split was not amicable.
As recently as 2015, 'Ye was still slamming Amber, saying, "It's very hard for a woman to want to be with someone that's with Amber Rose. I had to take 30 showers before I got with Kim."
Point 2: Tyga and Blac Chyna Were Engaged With a Baby
Chyna, a former stripper, featured music video extra, and owner of the "Lashed" beauty salon in Encino, appeared in the rapper's "Rack City" music video in 2011, and the two began dating. In Oct. 2012, Chyna gave birth to their son, King Cairo. At one point, they were even engaged, before breaking up in early 2015.
Point 3: Kim and Blac Chyna Were, Like, Totally BFF
Back in 2013 and 2014, Kim and Chyna were close. Like suuuper close. Like, Instagram selfies close -- and in Kardashian nation, isn't that as close as you can get? Anyway, the two eventually had a falling out (you'll understand why shortly), though Chyna tried to brush it off in 2015, telling TMZ, "Kim not bad. She's cool."
Point 4: Blac Chyna and Tyga Double Date With Kim and Kanye
It wasn't just Kim and Chyna that were close. Kim and Chyna and Kanye and Tyga used to double date together, and Chyga -- as their couple nickname should have been -- even traveled to Italy for Kimye's wedding in 2014. All the while, Chyna got close with the rest of the Kardashian family too. Here she is with Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick in Paris.
Point 5: Tyga Starts Dating Kylie Jenner (…Officially)
Tyga started posting Instagrams of 17-year-old Kylie mere months after his split with Chyna, though they didn't make anything official official until after her 18th birthday. (Upon which day he also bought her a $320K Ferrari.) Shortly after that, the two were inseparable and Tyga, 26, was calling Kylie his fiancée on Snapchat.
(The exact status of their relationship at the moment is TBD. They were last spotted together on Jan. 12 amid rumors that Tyga had cheated with a Brazilian model. Still, Kylie admitted in the past that they’ve broken up and gotten back together.)
Point 6: Blac Chyna and Amber Rose Become Best Friends
Chyna and Amber have a lot in common, so it now seems inevitable that they would have because BFF. The models started walking red carpets together and filmed a reality show about their lives juggling being single mothers and making club appearances. (After Kanye, Amber married, had a baby with, and then divorced Wiz Khalifa.)
Point 7: Amber Rose and Black Chyna Feud With the Kardashians
While Chyna (not so) subtly shaded Kylie on Instagram and swapped subtweets with the KUWTK star on Twitter, Amber straight up called out Tyga's relationship with a then 17-year-old, saying, "She's a baby. She needs to go to bed at 7 o'clock and relax."
Khloé blasted Amber on Twitter, saying, "'I was a stripper since I was 15 years old,' Amber Rose told Foxx. Please don't worry about my sister who has a career & her sh** together at ONLY 17." Amber later told ET that she doesn't "hate Khloé," adding that she would "absolutely" like to work things out with the Kardashian-Jenners.
Point 8: Blac Chyna Starts Dating Rob Kardashian!
All of this, of course, is a long and dramatic but necessary road to take to the realization that Rob dating Blac Chyna is ABSOLUTELY F**KING INSANE. Chyna posted a photo cuddled up in Rob's recognizably tattooed arm and wrote, "The beginning." We can only assume she means the beginning of S**T GOING DOWN.
Khloé tweeted, "You can do anything. But never go against the family." She claimed it wasn't directed at Rob but later followed up, "Maybe my quote can go towards a few people today."
Point 9: Amber Rose Follows Scott Disick on Instagram!!!
And just when you thought it couldn't get any more bonkers, Amber went and followed the father of Kourtney's three children on Instagram! "I'm not following anyone to be corny or to start trouble," she commented on The Shade Room. "That's not me. I'm simply just a fan of his. 2016 is positive vibes."
Lord Disick, help us if Amber starts double tapping anything...
It's no wonder Kris Jenner has been cryptically posting about her "challenging day." Find out what the Kardashian matriarch had to say in the video below.