In the chapter titled "The Worst Night of My Life," Schumer claims that she was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship in her early 20s with a guy she calls Dan. "I thought he was the love of my life for a long time but I allowed him to hurt me in ways that I still don't understand," she writes. "Dan and I would go to happy hours and get drunk, and then he'd get mad and shove me little. Sometimes from the shove, I'd trip over something and fall, and get hurt."
She says Dan "felt terrible" after these alleged altercations and she told herself that these bruises were "accidents." In addition to the shoving, Schumer says her then-boyfriend also often criticized her looks.
Schumer says Dan's most violent outburst occurred when he pushed her onto the hood of a parked car and she banged her head and elbow. "I didn't get hurt 'by accident' this time," she writes, admitting that twice in the evening she tried to run away from him.
She says Dan's aggressive behavior only got worse as the night went on, and at one point, Schumer claims he tried to break a mug over his head. "I was screaming for him to stop, when he grabbed a butcher knife from a drawer," she continues. "And that's when I was sure he was going to kill me. It may sound cliche, but I saw my life flash before my eyes."
Thankfully, Schumer says she was able to escape the situation and broke up with Dan a few months later. "I'm a strong-ass woman, not someone most people picture when they think 'abused woman,'" she explains. "It can happen to anyone. You're not alone if it's happening to you, and you're not exempt if it hasn't happened to you."
2. Her Mother Left Her Father for Her Best Friend's Dad
When the Trainwreck star was just 13, Schumer says her mother, Sandra, revealed that she was having an affair with a married man named Lou, the father of Schumer's best friend.
"One day after school I came home and saw my mother slumped on the couch. She'd clearly been crying hard," Schumer writes, after which she says her mother told her, "I am leaving your father. Lou and I have fallen in love with each other."
While she denied in January to meeting boyfriend Ben Hanisch on the dating site Bumble, she does admit in her book that the two met online. Schumer says Saturday Night Live's Vanessa Bayer introduced her to a dating app that is "aimed at creative people," and that's where she started talking to Hanisch.
After a few "very simple hellos" and "short, funny messages," they met. "We smiled at each other and in that moment, everything felt right," Schumer recalls.
The British man that Schumer had a one-night stand with in Tampa, Florida, sounds just as charming and handsome as Prince Harry! She describes meeting "a six-foot-two inch strapping strawberry blond of about thirty five years" while on a flight, and taking him back to her hotel room.
"It felt incredible to have this heavenly being take me in his arms and make me feel both wanted and beautiful," she writes. "The sex was perfect. He was perfect. We were both in ecstasy."
In a chapter where she lists 44 "Things You Don't Know About Me," Schumer reveals just how many men she has slept with. "To date, I've slept with twenty-eight people," the 35-year-old comedian admits. "I can't remember all of their names, but I remember the nicknames I gave them."
Schumer reveals why she was so upset that Glamour put her in their issue titled "Chic at Any Size," saying she doesn't want to be apart of that message.
"The plus-size label sends an us-vs.-them message: These are the special magical plus-size ladies who are still lovable and beautiful -- despite their size," she touts. "'Plus-size' is a pointless term that implies anything above a certain size is different and wrong."