"Brad and Angelina always said they wouldn't get married until everyone could get married," Handler says in a preview clip from her Thursday episode of Chelsea on Netflix. "And I always said I wouldn't get married until they got divorced. So I'm officially accepting proposals! I'm ready!"
The 41-year-old comedian goes on to mention a tabloid report about why the parents of six called it quits. "There are rumors that part of the problem was Brad was allegedly drinking and smoking too much weed," Handler touts. "I wonder why he needed to self medicate. Maybe because he could have been spending the last 12 years at Lake Como hanging out with George Clooney and Matt Damon, instead of being stuck in a house with 85 kids speaking 15 different languages?"
Going after Jolie, she adds, "Oh yeah, because he married a f**king lunatic, that's why!"
Handler concludes, "But we should all respect their privacy during this very difficult time. So, this will be the last time I speak of this ...on TV. You can follow me on Twitter."
This isn't the first time Handler has publicly slammed Jolie. While on Watch What Happens Live in March 2013, she referred to the 41-year-old Oscar winner as a "demon."
"It has nothing to do with Jennifer," she declared. "As a woman, I know when you see somebody walking across the room that's a bad girl. I just don't like Angelina Jolie. I don't think she's a girl's girl. I like girl's girls!"
In May 2012, she also told More magazine that Jolie "doesn't strike me as someone I would have a close friendship with."
Before that, during an interview with Katie Couric for Glamour magazine in 2010, Handler declared, "Yeah, I'm not a fan hers. She just doesn't come off to me as a sincere woman. She seems like a woman that you'd really want to avoid."
That same year, Handler bashed Jolie during her foul-mouthed stand-up show in Newark, New Jersey. "She's a homewrecker, she is," the comedian insisted. "She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants to, I don't f**king believe you."
Pitt's friend George Clooney also reacted to the news of the A-listers' breakup, and he appeared as shocked as the rest of us. Check it out: