An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian: Please, Please, Please Come Back to Social Media in 2017
By John Boone
Dear Kim Kardashian-West,
May we call you Kim?
We hope this letter finds you well, Kim. Let us start by saying we certainly understand why you've been absent from social media for the latter part of this year. What you experienced in Paris -- being held at gunpoint and robbed -- is unfathomable and we wouldn't be able to immediately bounce back to our regular @replies and #OOTDs, either.
Still, with Kanye West and your sisters sharing pictures with you at your mom's Christmas party, we realized exactly how much we've missed your presence on Twitter and Snapchat and Instagram and Facebook and, well, whatever else! No rush -- come back when you are ready -- but we really, really hope that will be soon. Here are just a few reasons why...
You can't! Nobody keeps Snapchat lit like Kim, though her #feud with Swift -- over whether or not Taylor signed off on Kanye's infamous "Famous" lyric about her -- was really a cross-platform effort. It started on Twitter during an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians before moving to Snapchat for the most epic providing of (alleged) receipts ever.
3. More importantly, because with Kim K. a nude is never just a nude.
Kim is a barrier breaker, so when she posts a turbo THOT pic to the Gram, it is never just a thirst trap. It also incites a national conversation about female sexuality. "I am empowered by showing the world my flaws and not being afraid of what anyone is going to say about me," she said. "And I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world."
Consider Emily Ratajkowski encouraged, as she came to Kim's defense amid backlash and stated, "It's so important that we let women express their sexuality and share their bodies however they choose."
4. Because social media is how Kim proved she is the funniest Kardashian.
And here you thought it was Khloé! Kim is the funniest Kardashian. Take, for example, the delicious pettiness of her tweets when Bette Midler and Chloë Grace Moretz tried to come for her over the aforementioned nude selfie. "Let's all welcome @ChloeGMoretz to twitter, since no one knows who she is. Your Nylon cover is cute boo," she savagely tweeted @ the latter. And lest you think someone was ghostwriting her clapbacks, she added, "Wait I can't believe people thought Kanye or Khloe hacked my Twitter. I swear I'm funny too!!!"
Saint was born in December 2015 and, by February, had become an Instagram star via his mom's account. Whereas North is the diva we all wanted her to be, the Kardashian-West's first son has proven to be the sweetest, giggliest little Yeezy ever.
6. And how else are we going to watch North West grow up?
We wish we loved anything as much as Kim loves Face Swap. She's mastered the form, too, whether it be proving why she and Kanye are #RelationshipGoals -- don't @ us if you don't agree -- or Face Swapping with North:
While some celebrities are hesitant to involve their brand in politics, Kim spoke frequently and loudly this election cycle in support of Hillary Clinton and the issues she thought were important, including "control and protecting women's rights to safe and legal abortion."
She's also been a constant proponent of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, using her blog this year to write, "I do not ever want to have to teach my son to be scared of the police, or tell him that he has to watch his back because the people we are told to trust -- the people who 'protect and serve' -- may not be protecting and serving him because of the color of his skin."
10. And because she is a woke voice that speaks out for butts.