In the September issue of InStyle magazine, the 25-year-old pop star talks about her current relationship and how it's different from her other flings. "I don’t depend on one area of my life to make me happy. It’s really important for me to love and nourish my friends and family and to make sure that I never get influenced by a guy," she explains. "I’ve wanted to be in a strong head space for years, and I really wasn’t. Before, I was so young and easily influenced, and I’d feel insecure. You want someone to add to your life, not to complete you, if that makes sense."
Gomez is very focused on growing as a person and often brings up how's she's changed since starring on Disney's Wizard of Waverly Place. "I remember when I had my Disney show, I was just running around and not caring and making kids laugh. I was all over the place. And now it feels more zoomed-in -- you have ugly people trying to get negative things from you, and the energy makes you feel bad about yourself. You can’t help it," she says. "It’s very hard to find out who you are during all that mess and pressure."
She later brings Disney up again in the interview. "My livelihood can’t depend on 'Am I liked?' When I was on Disney, it was like, 'Oh, they didn’t like it?' It hurts your feelings," Gomez admits. "I’ve learned the power of saying no. I feel empowered when I say it."
Gomez also addresses the controversy surrounding Netflix's 13 Reasons Why, a show that centers around a high school girl's suicide and which she serves as an executive producer. "I didn’t think it would even remotely blow up the way that it did, both positively and, obviously, controversially," Gomez confesses. "So, in season two, we answer a lot of the questions that were brought up, and I think if our show is able to start a conversation at the dinner table -- even if it’s just, 'That’s terrible' or 'That was great' -- it’s still starting a conversation. It scared people, but it’s really important."
It's been a good year for Gomez. In April, she shared with ET that her current contentment is largely in part to the success of the show. "Thirteen Reasons Why was a really big moment for me, just because we had the book for seven years and we worked so hard on it," she noted. "But, everything. You know, my personal life, and my family and my friends, I'm just, I'm in a really happy place. It's been good."