That’s the motto Tamra Judge lived by while on The Real Housewives of Orange County’s all-cast trip to Iceland, where she had to play nice with friend-turned-enemy Vicki Gunvalson.
“Shannon [Beador] and I talked prior and I said, ‘Listen, I can't carry this hostility and this anger,’ especially after I met with Vicki and that didn't go well,” Tamra tells ET. “After that, I sort of knew where my place was. We will never be friends, but, you know what? Maybe we can go out, go to Iceland, have fun, not get too deep about our friendship. That's it. And that's what we decided to do.”
ET chatted with the star at The Quiet Woman restaurant and bar in Corona Del Mar, California, as seen on the Bravo show, to get all the scoop on what’s still to come in season 12’s final few episodes.
“I'm not saying I don't care about [Vicki], ‘cause I did care about her,” Tamra shares. “But when you get hurt so bad, it's just, like, whatever.”
On Monday night’s episode, Tamra and Vicki have an emotional exchange in front of all the women about their falling out. Tamra ends up in tears, asking Vicki why she chose a man -- Brooks Ayers -- over her, her so-called “best friend.”
“It was a really true moment,” Tamra shares. “I sat down and I talked to her, and it just hurts me so bad that she took the stance to try to make my marriage look fake, or whatever you want to call it, when all I was trying to do was protect her from him. I knew. I knew the guy was not good. So, I didn't come after her like, ‘You're a horrible person. Why are you with this guy?’ No. I was like, ‘Vicki, this guy's not good for you.’ I kept warning her and warning her [and] instead of saying, ‘You know what? Thank you so much for being my friend.’ Instead, she just came after me.”
Tamra is referencing how Vicki has repeated rumors about Tamra’s husband, Eddie’s, sexuality, for years.
“That's where I'm just like, how can I be your friend when I was trying to protect you and you chose him over me?” she says.
Obviously, the cease fire doesn’t last when the ladies return home from the trip.
“We go from me and Vicki not even speaking, then going to Iceland and kind of speaking and then we go to the season finale and not speaking again,” Tamra explains. “I feel like this season has been disgusting in a way. Pretty disgusting.”
Shannon gets involved in Tamra and Vicki’s emotional conversation, interrupting the moment when Vicki tells Tamra, “We should’ve never lost our friendship over a man.”
“F**king liar,” she screams. “She calls me crying about you every week.”
Tamra says it’s instances like that one that prove to her what kind of a friend Shannon is.
“Shannon doesn't have a mean bone in her body,” she explains. “Shannon is the girl that I can call in the middle of the night and say, ‘This is going on in my life,’ and she will be there … She is the girl that will do anything for me.”
“Shannon's gone through a lot of stuff, and a lot of people didn't know,” Tamra continues. “I knew what was going on in her personal life. I got it … I've been in Shannon's shoes before and I know Shannon doesn't mean any harm. Yes, she's expressive. But she has the purest heart, the sweetest person and we will be friends forever.”
“Honestly, my friendship with Shannon was never like it was with Vicki,” she adds. “We were never that close. We had fun on the show, we would talk occasionally off the show, not a whole lot. But Shannon and I, we talk a hundred times a day. Like, I know her every move. And if we're not talking, she's texting.”
Stay tuned to The Real Housewives of Orange County every Monday at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo to see how the rest of season 12 plays out, and check out more of our chat with Tamra in the player below.