Alyssa Milano Reveals She Had Two Abortions in 1993: 'I Was Not Equipped to be a Mother'
By Paige Gawley
ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images
Alyssa Milano is opening up about her decision to have two abortions.
On a recent episode of her podcast, Alyssa Milano: Sorry Not Sorry, the 46-year-old actress shared that more than 25 years ago she chose to have two abortions within a few months of each other. Milano's abortion stories came amid the passage of stricter abortion laws across the country, something that she and other celebrities have previously spoken out about.
"In 1993, I had two abortions," she revealed, before describing her relationship with her unidentified boyfriend at the time. "I was in love for the first time, in the breathless way you can only be in love when you are young. It was huge, overwhelming even. It filled every part of living. And it was a joyful and exciting and powerful time in my life."
Though she was on birth control at the time of conception because she knew she "was not ready to be a parent," Milano still became pregnant. Additionally at the time, Milano was on an acne medicine that, she said, was "so likely to cause birth defects," something that ultimately became another factor in her decision to end her pregnancy.
"I still got pregnant. It was devastating. I was raised Catholic and was suddenly put in conflict with my faith. A faith I was coming to realize empowered only men to make every single decision about what was allowed and what was not allowed," she said. "I had a career and a future and potential. And also, I suffered from sometimes crippling anxiety."
"So I knew, I knew at that time, I was not equipped to be a mother," Milano continued. "And so I chose to have an abortion. I chose. It was my choice. And it was absolutely the right choice for me. It was not an easy choice. It was not something I wanted, but it was something that I needed, like most health care is."
After her abortion, Milano said that she continued to "enjoy a sexual relationship with the man I loved" because "sexually connecting with my partner gave me pleasure."
"I refuse to allow any one else's bulls**t morality to force me into a life of pre-marital celibacy. I refuse to live in the narrative that sexual pleasure is for men and that women exist to deliver that pleasure. My body gives me pleasure," she said. "... Nobody will try and say that he was at fault for enjoying sex with me, but you can be damn sure that the men enacting these laws think less of me for deriving the same pleasure from him."
"They tell you the pill is 99 percent effective at preventing pregnancies and yet, a few months later, I found out I was pregnant again," she continued. "So I had done what I knew to do to prevent pregnancy and was still pregnant. So once again I made the right decision to end that pregnancy."
More than two decades later and after welcoming two children -- Elizabeth, 4, and Milo, 7 -- with her husband, Dave Bugliari, Milano explained how her life would have been different if she had not had her abortions.
"I would not have my children, my beautiful, perfect, loving, kind and inquisitive children who have a mother who was so very, very ready for them. I would not have my career. I would not have the ability or platform I use to fight against oppression with all my heart," she said. "I would never have met my amazing husband, David, whose steadfast and immeasurable love for me sustains me through these terrifying times. Fifteen years after that first love had fizzled, my life would be completely lacking all its great joys."
"I would never have been free to be myself. And that's what this fight is all about -- freedom," Milano added. "Freedom from oppression. Freedom for women to have the audacity to be equally sexual beings as men. Freedom for women to live the life they were meant to have, not just the life that is thrust upon them by a pregnancy that cannot exist in their life."
Milano concluded her podcast episode by stating that her "reasons for having an abortion are real."
"They surround me every day. The reasons of all the women who have had abortions are real. They are ours and they are none of your f**king business," she said. "We told these none of your business stories not because we wanted to, we told them because our voice is just about the only thing that male-dominated government is leaving women for now. I for one will never stop using my voice. Sorry, not sorry."