Teigen took to Instagram on Wednesday to share a lengthy and heartfelt post about feeling lost and adrift since joining what she has dubbed "cancel club."
"Iiiii don’t really know what to say here...just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter s**t in real life," Teigen wrote, alongside a simple photo of her own legs in torn jeans which she appears to have snapped while lying on a couch in her home.
"Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer," she continued. "I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay. I’m not used to any other way!"
During the various online controversies and feuds she's faced in recent months, Teigen decided to step back from her cleaning supplies company, Safely, that she launched with her close friend, Kris Jenner, and has faced various other financial repercussions.
"Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot," Teigen shared. "Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow."
She continued, "All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just...tired of being sick with myself all day. I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent s**t anymore!"
Teigen concluded her message with a request to others who have been cancelled over their past tweets, joking, "If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch! Thank u and goodbye I love u."
The controversy surrounding Teigen began in May when a number of her tweets resurfaced, as Courtney Stodden alleged in a Daily Beast interview that Teigen used to send her disparaging comments on social media.
Shortly after, fashion designer Michael Costello took to Instagram to level new allegations of bullying by Teigen, and claimed that the model and her stylist, Monica Rose, allegedly tried to ruin his career. Days later, she fired back at Costello and claimed the DMs and emails that Costello shared as proof of the alleged bullying were fake.