“I feel like Katy wouldn’t have done it, five minutes later,” Spade says during a new interview with The New York Times. “But these things happen and there’s no going back.”
Spade doesn't go into detail about why he believes the late businesswoman (who had been married to Spade's older brother, Andy, since 1994) might have changed her mind about ending her life had a few more moments passed.
However, he does claim that she was often uncomfortable in social situations. “Katy was so funny,” he says. “I don’t know if agoraphobic is the word, but she didn’t like to mingle a lot; she’d have people at her house and she was always so funny.”
She is one of several loved ones that the comedian has lost to suicide, including his stepfather, who died when Spade was a teenager.
“People just started going right and left, and I would sit and stare at a wall,” he shares of experiencing loss at a young age, including friends in school and college. “I just said, 'OK, I guess I’ll cross my fingers that it doesn’t happen to everyone.' And more people would go.”
That included his Saturday Night Live co-star, Chris Farley, who suffered a drug overdose in 1997, and his frequent opening act, Brody Stevens, who died by suicide in February.
Spade, who turned 55 on Monday, says dealing with so much grief has been “brutal” and says he has learned to switch off the tears as a result.
“I don’t want to say I’m immune to it,” Spade shares. “But there’s a way you just have to learn to shut off the tear valve. It’s just too brutal.”
Naturally, one way he steers clear of tears is comedy and on July 29, he will launch his new Comedy Central late-night show, Lights Out With David Spade.
With former Chelsea Lately executive producers Tom Brunelle and Brad Wollack on board, the show will see him get together with comedian and celebrity pals for their take on the latest pop culture news.
“It’s a big opportunity and it’s hard, but it’s a good kind of hard,” he said of the new project.