In a touching post on Instagram, the grieving mom thanked fans for their support and encouragement, saluted all the fellow “superwomen” who had experienced such loss and detailed how she was doing.
“This has, without a doubt, been the hardest season of my life,” she wrote alongside a photo of a bunch of flowers gifted to her by Kellan. “It feels as though within one day we went from a season that felt like a warm summer day, to the most frigid, windiest, iciest, day ever recorded. (Anyone ever seen The Revenant with Leo? I feel like Leo in The Revenant right now!)”
“My emotions and feelings are slightly all over the place which is to be expected,” she continued. “Some moments I feel so full of peace and hope and expectancy. And other moments, simply put, it all just hurts like hell. I think it is important to try to always operate from a place of positivity, but that doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge the other side too. We are human after all. We all hurt, bleed, cry. Feeling the negative emotions doesn’t make you negative.”
Brittany went on to explain the physical and emotional pain and grueling aftermath of the loss -- from producing breast milk but having “no baby to feed,” to bruises all over her body from needles and blood transfusions which she underwent while fighting for both her and her baby’s lives.
Eager to also share some positive vibes, she honored Kellan for being the “greatest husband,” along with family and friends who have also helped her through the heartbreaking time.
“Even though this is so heavy, I have an unexplainable hope and excitement for the future,” she concluded. “I’m not ready for another pregnancy right now, (not sure when I will be honestly), but I’m excited to heal and move forward and explore this new version of myself. This situation didn’t make me the person I thought I would become (specifically a mother to a real life baby girl), but it did birth a new version of me. Truthfully I’m scared and nervous but at the same time really eager to get to know her.”
The couple announced the pregnancy in November, and in January, Brittany shared a cute post sharing her excitement about jetting off to Los Angeles for a doctor’s appointment ahead of her baby girl’s arrival. However, on Thursday, she shared the devastating news that she had lost the baby.
“Baby girl, It was my absolute honor and pleasure to be your mom these last 6 months,” she wrote alongside a maternity pic. “I did my best and it was an absolute joy seeing your little face all those times on that screen and feeling your tiny kicks.”
“I don’t know why it happened the way it did, but part of me finds so much peace knowing you never experienced pain or heartache and never will,” she continued. “You’re in the arms of Jesus now and one day we will get to meet you for real. Until I see you in heaven... your mommy loves you so much. ?.”