Lena Dunham Celebrates Being '2 Years Clean and Sober'
By Antoinette Bueno
Lena Dunham is celebrating a major milestone in her life.
The Girls creator took to Instagram on Friday to share that she is officially two years clean and sober. Dunham, 33, has been open about her addiction issues in the past, specifically, with Klonopin, a benzodiazepine used to treat panic disorder.
Dunham shared a smiling, makeup-free selfie on Friday and reflected on her sobriety journey.
"Today I have 2 years clean and sober. It's a miracle I can't take for granted no matter how hard I try," she writes. "Two years ago I didn't think I needed to get sober. But a quiet voice inside me said, 'lay it down for a moment' and then other, louder voices helped me keep it up."
"My heart pounds thinking of who I was two years ago," she continues. "I was afraid to change but what actually happened was that I became myself again, a young and carefree self, a self who was clear in intention and bold in action and -- most of all -- free. We know, now more than ever, that we all need to be free."
Dunham also had a message of hope for those struggling.
"When I first got sober, people often told me it was the best choice they'd ever made, the achievement of which they're most proud," she notes. "That seemed crazy -- NOT doing something was the best thing they'd ever done??? But they were right -- not using and removing secrecy and self harm from my repertoire, has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams. Not because it's perfect, but because it is really and truly mine. There is real help available for people who feel they are beyond hope. So many people are waiting for you across a shaky but time tested bridge. Now here is a picture of me smiling just because :)."
"I took [Klonopin] on and off and then I was diagnosed with pretty serious PTSD," she said. "I have a few sexual traumas in my past and then I had all these surgeries and then I had my hysterectomy after a period of really extreme pain. ... Basically, it stopped feeling like I had panic attacks and it started feeling like I was a living panic attack. The only thing that was notable were the moments in the day where I didn't feel like I was going to barf and faint."
Dunham said she then went through "a solid three years" of "misusing benzos."
"Even though it was all quote unquote doctor prescribed and I had convinced somebody to tell me that this was the way, I can recognize now the way my own manipulation played a part," she said. "My thought was like, 'I'm not in pain because I take pills, I take pills because I'm in pain. And I'm not anxious because I take pills, I take pills because I'm anxious.'"
"It is the most normalized, especially in our industry," Dunham added of anxiety medication. "Everyone's got a f**king pill in their purse, a thing in their bag. I want to make sure I have it with me because I'm going to this event, take half of a Xanax. I have an early call time. I fly a lot."
"Sobriety for me means so much more than just not doing drugs," she shared. "It also means that I abstain from negative relationships. It means I've taken a hiatus from dating, which has been amazing for me."