The singer's new Hulu documentary, Machine Gun Kelly's Life in Pink, details a dark night in July 2020 shortly after his father died on the one-year anniversary of his Hotel Diablo album release. The loss worsened MGK's ongoing battle with depression and substance abuse.
"I wouldn't leave my [hotel] room," he says in the film. "I started getting really, really, really dark. Megan went to Bulgaria to shoot a movie and I started getting this really wild paranoia. Like, I kept getting paranoid that someone was gonna come and kill me."
At the time, he was sleeping with a shotgun next to his bed and "just f**king snapped" that day.
"I called Megan. I was like, 'You aren’t here for me.' I'm in my room and I'm, like, freaking out on her," he says. "Dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth. And I'm yelling on the phone and like the barrel's in my mouth. And I go to cock the shotgun and the bullet, as it comes back up, the shell just gets jammed. Megan's like dead silent."
In the film, he explains that the near-death moment made him realize he needed to stop his substance abuse, both for Fox and his daughter, Casie.
"I was like, 'I need to kick the drugs for real this time,'" he says, though the film doesn't specify if he was on drugs during the incident.
After that night, MGK explains that Fox "became the sun" to him. "That's what helps me write those songs," he adds. "'Cause it's just like every fairy tale that they never told you in school…the passion between us is just otherworldly."
Machine Gun Kelly's Life in Pink is now streaming on Hulu. The film offers a look behind the curtain of MGK's road to fame, and the personal and professional hurdles he's overcome along the way. Machine Gun Kelly, real name Colson Baker, is perhaps best known for his platinum-selling album, Tickets to My Downfall, and his most recent No. 1, Mainstream Sellout.
If you or a person you know has suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).