Amanda Kloots has been an open book about her husband, Nick Cordero's, journey battling the coronavirus. After Cordero died last week at the age of 41, Kloots decided to get candid about her own grief.
In a series of tearful videos posted to her Instagram Stories on Thursday night, the often-positive Kloots wasn't afraid to cry and share.
"I've been doing this lately where I kind of just talk to Nick," she said of the late Broadway star. "It's so funny because grief is such a weird thing and I've talked about everything else about this process so it feels oddly wrong not to talk and acknowledge my grief."
Describing herself as "Type A" and saying she naturally tries to "press on" amid her grief, Kloots adds that sometimes she worries she's not allowing herself to grieve her tremendous loss.
"It often times doesn't hit me until night when I'm going to sleep," the mom to 1-year-old Elvis said. "I don't know if there's a right answer. I don't think there's a right answer to grief or how someone grieves. That's different for everybody."
Kloots revealed that she talks to Cordero about her grieving process, saying, "I said to Nick. I was like, 'You know me. This is what I would be doing. I would keep going. I would keep moving. I would keep working.' I thought maybe that would make him laugh because I think he's listening."
The personal trainer gets particularly emotional when talking about the moments when her grief catches up with her.
"At the same time, it's so hard and when it does hit you, it's so hard," she admitted. "But I know that it's gonna get easier every day."
Kloots ended her message imploring fans to continue to enact safe practices amid the coronavirus pandemic.
"I really just want to reiterate, though also guys, it's so important to still say safe," she insisted. "I know we're all itching to get out and it's summer. I know. I know! But also just be safe. Wear your masks. Wash your hands. Social distance and just be careful. Get tested if you can. Get antibody tested if you can. Just be responsible. That's the only way that we will ever end this and that we will ever be able to move forward as a human race."
Cordero died over the weekend after battling the coronavirus for 95 days. In that time, the performer had his leg amputated, lost 65 pounds, was put in a coma, and had not yet regained his ability to speak. His battle inspired many as they watched Kloots' updates and sang and danced along to his song, "Live Your Life," nightly. Watch the clip below for more: