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90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days star Kim is getting honest about a controversial moment between her and her boyfriend, Usman, on this season of the hit TLC show. ET spoke with the 50-year-old reality star about her journey this season with 32-year-old Usman from Nigeria, and she addressed a huge argument they had when she pushed him to have sex with her, though he didn't want to because they weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend yet.
During the episode that aired in January, Kim put on a pink nightgown and told cameras she wanted to "seduce" Usman in her hotel room. When Usman said he didn't want to sleep with her, she got upset and it led to Usman eventually walking out of the hotel room. Kim told ET's Melicia Johnson that she definitely regrets her behavior, and that it also affected her 25-year-old son, Jamal.
"I apologized for it on my social media," she says. "Once I saw it back, and I would never in my life ... It was so bad. And the criticism I got for that, even now I still get it. And I've apologized and I've put it to bed. But I feel mortified. I embarrassed myself. I embarrassed Usman, I embarrassed my son. And the crazy thing was I was drinking a lot and I'm not using alcohol as an excuse, but I had three bottles of champagne because I was nervous. I was really nervous about this young guy and here I am, 50 years old, and I'm like, 'Hey.' I was nervous."
"But the way I acted, I was mortified," she continues. "I was mortified. And I will never live that down, I don't think. And I got a lot of people that were victims of sexual assault and all that. And I'm ashamed of it."
Kim said Jamal called her out after the episode aired.
"He called me and he is like, 'Mom, what the hell?' I was like, 'I know, I'm so sorry,'" she shares. "He was very disappointed in me. He was embarrassed because people don't think, they just don't DM me, they DM him, which I don't understand why, but it was bad. It was really bad. He was very upset with me. And I did a public apology and I did it to Usman and I did it for Jamal too. Because Jamal, he didn't deserve that. You know what I mean? He didn't deserve for me to say something like that, because he's always been so good."
"If I could go back and change one thing, I would change that," Kim says of pressuring Usman to have sex. "Another thing I would change is calling Zara a b**ch, because I'm a woman. And if you call me a b**ch, I'm going to smack you across your face. So, I did do an apology for that as well. And I felt bad and nobody has to tell me to do these things, you know what I'm saying? I do them from my heart. And I was like, damn, because it's not her fault. It's his fault."
"Nobody understands what he's telling me or what he's texting me," she points out. "I didn't go down there not knowing he wasn't going to kiss me. I didn't go down there not knowing we were going to have sex. We used certain terms, but that's how it was. That's what pissed me off so much about finding out about this relationship. Like, you were sitting there flirting with me. It was crazy. And when I got there and found this out, I was like ... I knew about the sleeping in the separate rooms, and I was totally OK with that. Because nobody looks at it from my point of view. What if I would've met him in person and been like, 'Ew, you're shorter than me.' Or what if I wouldn't have been physically attracted to him? You know what I'm saying? But now my self-worth is everything to me. My confidence is everything to me. And I have that now. I have it back."
As for if she would still be OK with Usman having a second wife, Kim explained why she would be, especially since she's done having kids.
"I am down for Usman to have a second wife, OK? But he needs to tell me about it," she clarifies. "Don't keep me in the dark. You can't just pull up and be like, 'Hey, by the way.' Be real with me and I feel that's another misconception too. Like I said, I wasn't upset that he was in a relationship [with Zara]. I was upset he didn't tell me about the relationship when he was flirting with me all the time. I don't know how he did it, honestly, because we were on the phone all the time. So, I don't know how much time she got. I don't know how much time I got. Do you see what I'm saying? That's why I was upset.
"I was doing my own little thing too," she adds. "But as far as the second wife, that's this culture, I'm not going to be here and sitting there going to a fertility clinic and all that. I'm done. I wash my hands. But I'm realistic that way. I raised my son. That's his life, but I respect his culture. I respect his religion, but he has to tell me about it first. Don't keep it a secret. You have to tell me."
90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on TLC.
ET spoke with Usman ahead of this season of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, and he revealed that Zara is a 36-year-old American woman who broke up with him because she couldn't handle all the female fan attention he receives as musician Sojaboy. He also insisted he wasn't scamming Kim and was in love with her.
"I love her with all my bones, my heart," he told ET. "Right now, I am in love. I love Kimberly, I can say that any way in the world. I love her. I'm not shy. I'm not ashamed. I am proud to say that I love her. I love her for real."