The Growing Up Hip Hop star breaks down on Thursday's episode of the WE tv series after having to explain her ex-fiance's death to his son. ET has an exclusive sneak peek at the episode, during which Simmons tearfully recalls the conversation with her 3-year-old son, Sutton. His father, Sutton Tennyson, was shot and killed in Atlanta, Georgia, in November 2018.
"I was with my son, and super emotional right, even to talk about it. He was looking out the window and he's like, 'Daddy, white car,'" Simmons emotionally recalls. "I question him, 'Where do you see him?' or 'Who is Daddy? What does he look like?' I'm asking him. I'm like, 'Do you want to see your dad?' and he's like, 'Yes.' So he comes over and I start showing him videos and pictures and stuff, and he stopped. It's not like he's full conversational yet, so this is what kind of makes it emotional. He was like, 'Is he alive?'"
As Simmons explains, the word "alive" isn't a normal part of her young son's vocabulary. "So, for him ask that is like -- whoa. Did you really just say, 'Is he alive?'" she says. "I was just like, 'No. He's not.'"
"This is the first time I'm having to explain it to him, which is, like, super sad, because he's three. How do you explain to a 3-year-old that they're never going to see them again? Other than my own way, which is like, 'He's in Heaven, he's with God.' [I say] all of the great things, then he kind of laid his head in my chest--" Simmons says, bursting into tears, "and told me he was sad."
Simmons says her son is "never" emotional, but things changed after their difficult conversation. "He's a happy kid, and that whole day, he was just kind of, like, mopey and sad," she tearfully says. "And I told him, 'I got you. You're OK. You're good.' ... It was that conversation, but it was super hard to have that conversation with him."
"[The fact that I'm still grieving is] definitely one of the biggest things that I'm dealing with," Simmons adds.
Simmons and Tennyson split in 2017. She paid tribute to her ex-fiance in a heartbreaking Instagram post following his 2018 death.
"Thank you for leaving behind my greatest gift," she captioned the post. "I'm hurting. I’m numb. Thank you for the out pouring of love everyone. I can’t believe I’m even saying Rest In Peace Sutton. I promise to hold SJ down in every way I promise."