Monday night's episode of Bachelor in Paradise ended with Dean giving Caelynn his rose, and then pulling her aside to "talk." The promo showed the former pageant queen in tears after the conversation, which we guessed might have to do with the fact that Dean just isn't into having a long-term relationship. (He did tell Caelynn she'd be "miserable" as his girlfriend.) And we were right.
Dean made a speedy exit, and the next day, Caelynn found a connection with a man who didn't live in a van at Krystal and Chris' stunning Bachelor Nation wedding. The "epic" event, as Chris called it while talking with ET, feature crystals, a custom cake, famous Bachelor faces and, of course, a little drama.
ET was live blogging along the way. Scroll down for a play-by-play of what went down!
A Star Is Born
The episode ends with Demi recapping Connor's chats with Kristina and Caelynn at the wedding, and it's honestly the best thing we've ever seen.
A true star.
Next week, Angela's here to cause trouble, and Tayshia's caught in a love triangle with Derek and JPJ.
They're yelling on the beach, and JPJ is in a MOOD.
Then, Dean shaves his mustache and returns to talk to Caelynn. "Then, a shocking exit that no one saw coming. And the tears will blow your mind!" Chris Harrison teases.
Sydney and Tayshia worry about Angela coming to Paradise after the way she walked down the aisle at the wedding.
"I'm worried about Nicole," Tayshia says. "In my honest opinion, if Angela came down those steps, Clay and Nicole would not be together anymore."
And Angela's here.
Nicole and Clay finally talk, and he tells her he chatted with Angela at the wedding. "The talk didn't go as well as I'd hoped," Clay says. "He felt like I led her on in the relationship."
Nicole asks if Angela wanted to get back together, and Clay says she did reach out a few times after their breakup, and he still cares about her. "It's not like a light switch. You can't turn it off and on," he tells the camera.
Clay tells Nicole they didn't really talk about her -- and Nicole's worried. She puts on a brave face and tells Clay that she believes in them.
He Doesn't Live in a Van
Kristina talks to Demi about how sad she is that she hasn't had any romance yet -- but she's not giving up hope.
Caelynn and Connor, meanwhile, are having a blast on their date. She's massaging his leg, and he's wearing some SHORT SHORTS. Sky's out, thighs out!
Caelynn opens up about how she finally feels like she's on the same page with someone. "Dean and I would have never worked," Caelynn says. "I'm really happy that now I have something that could actually be something. Plus, he has his sh*t together. He doesn't live in a van!"
Time for Answers!
Mike, who we haven't seen in 45 years, asks Clay what happened between him and Angela.
Clay opens up about their tough breakup, and Tayshia asks Nicole why Clay didn't introduce her to everyone. "When I saw him with Angela, to me, he started to falter," she shares. "Clay chose Angela over Nicole last night. He might not have said it, but his actions showed it."
Nicole is crying (is this the first time this season?) and Tayshia tells her she's gotta talk to Clay and get some answers.
Caelynn and Connor go on a painting date, and we feel like we've seen this before (didn't Carly and Evan do this?).
They paint each other's bodies and make out. They are hardcore making out. "I needed this," Caelynn gushes.
Turn That Frown Upside Down
Next, Connor pulls Kristina for a chat. "If Connor asks Kristina on the date first, Caelynn's going to be miserable," Haley says -- and we believe it.
Kristina tries to vibe with Connor -- and REALLY wants to go on the date with him. "Paradise sucks," Caelynn sulks.
Connor emerges soon after and invites her on that date, so she's gotta turn that frown upside down!!
"Caelynn does like my leftovers," Kristina hisses, pointing out she's gone after Blake, Dean and now Connor. Ouch!!
The next day, Caelynn says she's "struggling" about Dean and doesn't want to get her hopes up about Connor. "I feel like I'm meant to be unhappy in Paradise," she says.
Then Connor arrives. Kristina's interested and excited to get to know him, but Caelynn wants to assert her dominance.
"I think my potential wife could definitely be on this beach," he tells the camera, before taking Caelynn aside.
JPJ cools off upstairs with some chicken nuggets, and we REALLY HOPE it does the trick.
Derek starts to get heated as JPJ refuses to back down. "You do not understand what I've been through," he says. "What you're doing is denying me the opportunity to talk man-to-man."
Derek tells JPJ that he didn't know he was interested in Tayshia until right now. "You gave your rose to Haley last night," he notes.
"I don't want to be on your podcast," JPJ says.
Derek says he just wanted to give JPJ an opportunity to hang out, and JPJ says it's "insulting" to his intelligence. "I'm done talking to you. Don't come up to me the rest of the time you're here," he yells.
Rehashing the Fight
Back at the beach, Demi asks JPJ if he wants to talk about what happened with Derek.
"What happened had to happen," JPJ replies.
Derek talks to Wells about what went down. "I just am weirdly confused by it and ready to move past it. I'm just ready to find happiness and love," Derek says.
Then JPJ shows up. "I stand by every word I said today," he tells Derek.
"We need to go talk," Derek says. "You just ambushed me in a room full of people."
Clay opens up about how hard it was to be told he's not going to play football anymore. "It's like starting anew almost, and it's not easy," he says.
Angela tells him that all she's ever wanted was for him to be happy.
"I still care a lot about you," Clay repeats. "I care a lot."
Tayshia, as Nicole's eyes and ears, is on HIGH ALERT.
Clay tells Angela that it's good to see her, but it's "tough."
"There's been guys coming up asking me if it's OK to talk to you... it's difficult to see," he shares. "I still do care about you a lot."
Angela calls Clay out, questioning why he told her he couldn't see anyone else as his wife. "It was one of the hardest nights of my life," Clay says of their breakup. "I never wanted to hurt you."
"I know coming here maybe was selfish, and I'm sorry," he says.
Angela talks to Annaliese about Clay, and Annaliese tells her that Clay is definitely thinking about what he missed out on.
It doesn't help that Clay tells Mike that his "girlfriend" is here -- and Mike has to correct him, telling him it's his ex. "Nicole would kill you for that!" he says.
Nicole complains to Derek back at the beach about how anxious she feels -- and Clay and Angela go off together.
That Was Fast!
Caelynn, meanwhile, complains to Annaliese about how awful she feels. She wants to explore a connection with Connor, but is scared -- and we would be too, considering he just talked to Kristina.
Caelynn pulls Connor aside and tells him that she was just dumped. Putting it out there! OK!
Connor says everything happens for a reason, and he and Caelynn KISS. Nothing cures a broken heart like making out with someone new, we suppose.
Chris and Krystal have their first dance, and we see Bri, the girl with the Australian accent from Colton's season of The Bachelor, and now we're questioning who decided who was invited to this wedding and who wasn't.
Blake complains about going stag at the wedding and he's SO DEPRESSED. Someone just made a joke about Stagecoach, and we're LOSING IT.
Everyone tells Blake that he made bad choices, and he feels like a "dead man walking." Astrid tells Blake he should just leave, and he should really listen to her.
The group returns to the bar, and Katie notes that during the wedding, she thought Angela was the star. (US TOO).
Nicole, meanwhile, talks about how she's serving up looks to Angela while sitting next to Clay -- however Clay is at the party with Angela, and Nicole IS NOT THERE.
"I hate Angela. I am worried she may try to take him back," Nicole reveals.
Sydney is crying over not being invited to the party, while Derek slams JPJ for confronting him at the wedding.
The party looks LIT though, and for real, everyone is underdressed.
Chris calls the cast over, and surprisingly, it's all good. Krystal thanks everyone for being a part of their wedding.
"Last year when we met... it truly transformed our lives, because I now have a husband!" she says. "We were able to come together and lean on each other and come out stronger... we hope we can serve as a little bit of inspiration for those looking for love."
Chris and Krystal have an extra table at the reception, and they invite Hannah, Dylan, Caelynn, Blake, Mike, Kristina, Tayshia and Clay.
Is no one else invited?
JPJ is so heated that he tells Derek he's been looking for his wife for "18 years"... even though he's only 24.
"Get out of my sight!" JPJ hisses.
The cast gets called over, and Demi worries they're all about to be kicked out of the wedding. Honestly, we'd kick out JPJ and Derek for this sh*t.
JPJ snaps and charges at Derek at the cocktail party. "What are your intentions with Tayshia?" he asks, talking about Derek's podcast and what he wants to do with women.
Derek looks confused. "You're bulldozing through that statement," he says.
"Don't insult my intelligence, Derek!" JPJ yells. "Name one thing I just said that is false!"
"You're in this for fame!" JPJ screams, as Tayshia turns away and cries.
Chris and Krystal start freaking out and everyone is watching.
JPJ accuses Derek of taking advantage of women sexually because of his fame. "A man that takes advantage of women because of the very temporary status he's acquired through this process... I think Tayshia deserves more than that," he tells Katie.
Katie agrees, and JPJ goes off, saying Derek has bragged about f**king the women who have followed him. "He's a fraud!" he yells.
What a Turn
After the ceremony, the group enjoys some tasty-looking appetizers. They're all smiles, and we're hungry.
Now that there's more players, the group talks about who should get with who. Tayshia tells Annaliese that she's having fun exploring, and John Paul Jones meets the moms.
He introduces himself as "John Jones" -- WHAT -- and tells them the ceremony cemented his faith in the process. Then he turns to Katie and freaks the f**k out.
"We're pure?" Harrison hilariously asks before marrying Chris and Krystal.
They recite their own vows, and the whole room starts crying. "Well done," Harrison commends them.
They give each other their custom Neil Lane rings and Harrison talks about the power of second chances, vulnerability and following your heart no matter where it leads you. WISE WORDS!
"I now pronounce you husband and wife!" he says, and Chris and Krystal seal their marriage with a kiss.
Sage This Sh*t
Chris is emotional, and it's so cute.
"It didn't take long for them to find each other, bonding over things such as green smoothies... essential oils and Wayne and Chucky," Harrison jokes of the couple's time in Paradise last year. Also, wow, he is such a pro -- how many of these has he done?
Now the ceremony begins with a sage pot cleansing. WHAT???
The wedding is STUNNING and we just realized that guy with the man bun is Brooks Forrester from Desiree Hartsock's season. The cast is mingling with good old regular people and then the ceremony kicks off. In comes Angela looking like a woman scorned as she walks by Blake, with Nicole hilariously looking over in panic.
Chris walks in with his family and greets Chris Harrison at the altar. "Please rise," Harrison instructs as Krystal, looking INCREDIBLE, walks down the aisle.
Insults Be Flying
JPJ confronts Tayshia at the wedding, and she tells him to back off. "I feel do have a connection with you and I do have a connection with Derek... but I need to just nip it in the bud for myself," she says.
JPJ is not having it, and the insults are FLYING. Who knew he was this passionate?
Next thing we know, fresh blood has arrived. Connor from Hannah Brown's season is here, and Caelynn has LIT UP. "He's probably a better match than Dean is for me," she says.
JPJ confides in Demi that he's hurting over Tayshia moving on from him. Now, he starts bashing Derek. "He's creepy," he says. "I will not allow Derek to swoop in."
We take a break from the drama of Paradise to check in with Krystal and Chris ahead of their wedding.
Becca, Kendall and Joe, Ben Higgins, Ashley and Jared, Adam and Raven, Kevin and Astrid and more are in attendance.
The cast arrives, and we wish they were given better clothes to wear to the wedding, because most of them (cough cough JPJ) are underdressed.
Tia asks Caelynn who she's with. "I got dumped last night," Caelynn bluntly says. "Being at a wedding is the last thing I want to do." What a downer....
Mixed Feelings and a Wedding Invite
JPJ recovers in time for a gift to the cast: an invite to Chris and Krystal's wedding.
"I get all the feels," Mike says. "I'm a big, corny-a** dude!"
Clay, meanwhile, is nervous, because he knows his ex, Angela, will be there. "Chris introduced me to Angela... but she wasn't my person," he says. "I made a selfish decision to be here."
He's worried about upsetting Angela by showing up to the wedding with Nicole. "I don't know how I'm going to handle this," he confesses.
Blow It Out
JPJ reveals he can't pursue Haley with how devastated he is about Tayshia, and then turns back into the JPJ we've seen on this series. No, he's not throwing up -- but he's blowing his nose so obnoxiously he might as well be.
JPJ Loses It
The group talks about Derek pursuing Tayshia, and JPJ can't handle it, revealing that he's in love with her.
He walks off and sobs into his golden locks. "I'm going through something, man!" he tells Blake. "I didn't expect this to happen!"
He continues to cry harder than anyone we've ever seen on this series -- for real. "I've been looking for my wife since I was 18, man."
"Tayshia, she is everything I'm looking for... it just feels like it's slipping away," he reveals.
Can't Fix Him
All's calm in Paradise the next morning -- except for with Caelynn, who cries in her luggage.
"It's too much. It's too f**king much," she whines.
Elsewhere, Chris says he thinks it's better Dean cut it off now, rather than later. "It's pretty f**ked up, but it's Dean," she reasons.
Derek tries to comfort Caelynn by telling her that Dean doesn't know himself yet. "It's not up to you to fix him," he says.
Dean heads out, while Caelynn cries into the arms of the other girls. "I thought he was my forever, and he blindsided me," she sobs. "I don't know what to do!"
"I'm an idiot!" she tells the other women, who try to comfort her.
The cast can't believe Dean is doing this on her birthday -- but Kristina does.
Dean tells Caelynn that they're not compatible and he just wants to cut it off.
"I was hopeful that you were going to like... try," Caelynn cries. "Like, why leave? ... It's so aggravating."
"I'm doing what I think is best," Dean shares as he and Caelynn get up and return to the group.
The Right Thing to Do
"I think that you're an amazing, awesome person... I thought that I was coming in and I was just going to be having fun," Dean tells Caelynn, revealing he didn't expect to have a real connection.
"I know I won't be able to get where you will be needing me to be," he continues, explaining that he doesn't want to get closer to her. "I think it's probably for the best."
"I think I should go home," Dean finally says. "I just think it's the right thing to do."
We pick up at the rose ceremony, where Caelynn and Dean are considered a couple... but not for long!
"Dean has made my birthday so special," Caelynn gushes. "He really has grown, and I can see that."
"I gotta talk to you," he tells her, pulling her aside.
It's Going to Be a Good One!
"Tonight on Bachelor in Paradise, John Paul Jones can't stop crying," Chris Harrison begins this episode. We never thought we'd hear that sentence.
Then -- we'll get Chris and Krystal's wedding, a fight between JPJ and Derek, and Clay and Angela coming face-to-face.
Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC. Join ET's Bachelor Nation Facebook group here.