Clare Crawley had high hopes for her season of The Bachelorette. During an Instagram interview with Girl Powerful, a nonprofit that works to give female youth the tools to build a strong sense of self, the 40-year-old reality star opened up about what made her want to be the franchise lead, and what prevented her season from playing out as she'd hoped.
"That was one thing that propelled me to want to do The Bachelorette initially, was to be able to show the imperfections of who we are, not in a negative way, but the imperfections just in general of who we are and to be loved and to love ourselves regardless of that," she said. "And to set these standards for our heart regardless of that. I wanted to have the perfect fairytale be imperfect human beings and still be loved because of that."
However, Crawley said her season "didn't come out that way," which she thought was the case due to its editing.
"Especially on The Bachelorette, you see a glimpse of an edited television show," she said. "So, it didn’t come out that way and it wasn’t edited that way, but that’s OK."
While Crawley said that she loves "showing the sides" of who she is, she didn't think she was able to do that while on the show.
"All my friends are always like, 'I wish the public saw what kind of person you are, and what a nerd and goofball you are in our every day life,'" she said, before encouraging the girls watching to "Do you. Be your awkward, funny, weird self."
Crawley's season of The Bachelorette was a dramatic and emotional one, as she ended the show early to be with Dale Moss. She was criticized for walking away early and disappointing the remaining men, even after Moss popped the question and Tayshia Adams took over as the Bachelorette.
"The internet is filled with a lot of hate right now and a lot of negativity," Crawley said, before sharing how she stops the online hate from bothering her.
"It's easy to get that negative self-talk when people are [saying], 'You should be doing this. You should be doing that,' and putting their opinions on what I should and shouldn't be doing or shouldn't have done in the past [out there]," she said. "I remind myself... that, whether or not somebody else would do something or if it's right for them, I need to honor myself and my truth by doing what's best for me."
"That's using my voice and speaking to myself saying, 'I don't care even if nobody agrees with what I do or say. It's what's best for me,'" she continued. "That builds my self-worth and my self-esteem up in my heart."
Despite the challenges of her Bachelorette experience, Crawley said her favorite aspect of her personality is always being "open to being vulnerable."
"I refuse to shut down. I love that I will share and be open. Sometimes I'm like, 'Did I say too much? Did I say this? Did I say that?' I would rather that than be shut down and hold back," she said. "I love that I am a vulnerable person. I will cry and not be afraid to cry. If I'm mad, you'll know it. I love just sharing vulnerability."