Jamie Otis is getting candid about her postpartum struggles.
The 34-year-old Married at First Sight star posted a video on Instagram showing her significant hair loss after giving birth to her second child, son Hendrix, with husband Doug Hehner in May. Otis shared that her postpartum experience has "rocked [her] to the core" and has affected her physically, mentally and emotionally.
"Here I am completely raw & bare— & balding.👀 I have no makeup, no filter & you can totally see my BALD spots. I have so much hair loss.😱," she wrote. "I feel like I'm a different person than I was before I had my son. I've had days where I've been bed-ridden, too depressed to get up. My daughter says, 'mommy woke up!' when I crawl out of bed in the afternoon.😳"
Otis and Hehner tied the knot on the first season of Married at First Sight in 2014. Though they are now parents to 5-month-old Hendrix and 3-year-old daughter Henley, she's suffered multiple miscarriages over the years. Otis said that she hasn't been open about her postpartum struggles because she doesn't want to seem ungrateful.
"I haven't talked too much about it bc if I mention it I fear people will think I'm just looking for pity or worse, that I’m not thankful for the amazing babies I have," she wrote. "I know I'm so lucky to be a mommy! We tried and tried and tried for SO long to get these beautiful babies & I’m so thankful!"
"But that's the thing about depression — you can't talk yourself out of it, you can't put makeup on and instantly feel better, you can't even spray dry shampoo on your bald spots and expect the sadness that you buried to stay down.🤦🏼♀️😂," she continued. "It's weird because it's not necessarily my appearance or my job or my marriage or *anything that I can pinpoint* as to why I’m 'depressed.' I am so blessed in every way in life! So why do I feel so lethargic, overwhelmed, & stressed?!? I don't know.🤷🏼♀️."
Otis shared that she was now working to heal her body inside and out, and also noted that when it comes to her hair loss, "we are more than our appearance."
"The only reason I am sharing all of this is because I don't want to be a fraud and post this video where I seem completely happy with my lack of hair and makeup free face.🙃," she wrote. "I don't want you to think I've got all my sh!t together all the time bc there are definitely days when I don't. But today I feel good! I'm not letting the hair loss get to me. I’m embracing my freckles & blemishes. Tomorrow, who knows! 🤷🏼♀️🤣 The point is, body positivity & body acceptance is not a 'flip the switch and it’s turned on' kinda thing. It's an on-going personal journey."
ET spoke to Otis and Hehner in June, and they talked about choosing to have an at-home water birth amid the coronavirus pandemic. Otis said that despite the intense pain because she couldn't get an epidural, it was a "very miraculous experience" to give birth without any anesthetic.
"To be able to feel every little bit of him you know moving inside me still kicking as he's coming out like, I mean I could feel everything," Otis recalled. "Then, when, I held him and it was just the most amazing feeling, like we really bonded… Not gonna lie though, it was very, very painful."