Kaitlyn Bristowe On Her Advice to 'Bachelorette' Hannah Brown Amid Sex Controversy (Exclusive)

'Jesus might still love her, but I'm not sure about the Bachelor Nation world.'

Kaitlyn Bristowe has one message for Bachelorette Hannah Brown after Monday night's explosive supertease about sex on the show: "Buckle up and call me, because I have your back." 

The 33-year-old knows all too well about the critical, hurtful comments that come with speaking up about women's sexuality on reality TV. After revealing she had sex with one of her Bachelorette contestants, Nick Viall, before the fantasy suites, she was met with hateful messages and death threats. As she told ET's Lauren Zima during a sit-down interview with her boyfriend, Jason Tartick, on Tuesday, she's here to help Brown weather that storm. 

"Stay strong, my friend, because you are in for a rough ride, but I am here for you," Bristowe said of what she'd tell Brown. Monday night's teaser showed Brown giddy about taking things to the next level with her men in the fantasy suite, but was questioned about whether she was "sleeping around" by one contestant, Luke P. "I really want her to reach out to the past Bachelorettes. From what it looks like, she should especially be reaching out to me. I just want to be there for these girls."

Bristowe called the aftermath of her night with Viall "the worst." "I genuinely couldn't sleep. I would cry every night. I lost so much hair. I felt so defeated by everybody, but I was like, 'I wouldn't change a thing,'" she said. "Even if it didn't work, you just don't get to where you're supposed to be by trying to be somebody else. So, it's really hard." 

Brown has openly discussed how losing her virginity caused her to struggle with her faith, but recently told ET that she's learned a lot about religion and how "welcoming" and accepting Christianity is. That's part of the reason her fight with Luke becomes so heated, as promos have shown her challenging his notion that sex is only meant for marriage. "I have had sex, and Jesus still loves me," she hisses at him. 

"Jesus might still love her, but I'm not sure about the Bachelor Nation world," Bristowe candidly shared. "I want her to just call me. Hannah, call me. I will talk you through everything. The internet is not kind to women who talk about their sexuality. They're just not."

"She put it out there, it's who you are. You can't be ashamed of it, and you just have to stand by your decisions and who you are, and it will all turn out the way it's supposed to. Whenever you're true to yourself, things work out. You might go through a rough patch, but in the end it'll work out for you because being true to yourself is the best thing you can do," Bristowe said. 

Tartick, meanwhile, said Luke asking Brown about her sexual relationships with the other men is breaking an "unwritten rule" of the show. "As a castmember, you understand she's dating other guys. You understand when the fantasy suite comes around, there are three other people. An unwritten rule is when you're in the relationship, you talk about your relationship and really don't get into the weeds with some of the specifics associated with what's going on," he explained. "In that trailer, we saw just the opposite of that."

Producers aren't there to give contestants or the lead any advice about how to handle sex or fantasy suites on the show, Bristowe said, but she wishes more conversations surrounding the topic -- and others, like religion, politics or money management -- would be aired. 

"If you're going to get engaged at the end of it, and this is going to be your partner, you should know where they stand with these topics," Bristowe reasoned. "Tough conversations should be had if you're going to make this relationship last."

"With Luke P., she's so indecisive, and we don't get it as viewers, but you can't judge somebody for how they feel. But I'm just like, 'Just bye! You know that's not your guy!'" she said. 

The former Bachelorette thus doesn't fault Luke for revealing his conservative Christian values -- but notes her response to his line of questioning would have been a prompt, "See ya, wouldn't want to be ya." "I think you should talk about [sex] with whoever you pick, and have open conversations about that," she suggested. 

"We're in a time where it's becoming more of a normal conversation, but in Bachelor world, it's still so faux pas to talk about it. It's such a gray area. Where is the line?" she asked, noting how Bachelor Colton Underwood's virginity was presented "almost like a funny joke." 

"People watch the show. They know there's fantasy suites. They know there's sex that goes on in the fantasy suites. All of the sudden, we're talking about it, and it's like, [gasp]," Bristowe said. "At first, when The Bachelorette started, it was like, 'I can't believe they would have one woman dating all these men,' or 'I can't believe all these women would date one guy.' And now it's like, that's such a normal thing... sex is becoming a topic."

The Off the Vine podcast host sees a light at the end of the tunnel for Brown. "She's a little saucier than me. I'm saucy, but she's spicy saucy. She really comes in hot, but I appreciate that," Bristowe exclaimed. "We're getting the true Hannah. You gotta give her credit, because you know you're going to get backlash, and you know you're going to get hated on on the internet, but she seems to be like, 'Whatever, this is for me, and a life altering decision for me.'"

Years after igniting controversy as the Bachelorette, Bristowe herself couldn't be happier. She's in a successful relationship with Tartick, recently launched a scrunchie line and is creating her own wine label, Spade and Sparrows. 

"Honestly, it is a dream come true. I'm not just saying that," she said of her new endeavor. "Since I've had my first sip of wine ever in life, I was like, 'This is what I'm supposed to be doing.' Like, everything in my life has lead me to have a wine label, this man... we've arrived!"

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC. Join ET's Bachelor Nation Facebook group here


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