Kristoff St. John’s ex-wife Mia St. John is looking back at his life, including the heartbreaking loss of their son, Julian, who died by suicide in 2014.
The Young and the Restless star passed away a little over a week ago at his home in LA, shocking fans and devastating a family that has already coped with tragedy. Now, Mia is opening up about her last conversation with him and his struggle to survive their son’s passing.
“He called me at 11 a.m. and the first thing he said was, ‘Mia, thank God you answered,’” she shared. “He was just so depressed. He was drinking and just saying, like, nonsense -- that he didn't want to be here anymore.”
She went on to claim Kristoff was so disoriented, he said that he saw their late son.
“He said, ‘Julian is at the door I gotta get the door,’” she shared. “[He] said, ‘Okay, let’s talk to Julian, bring Julian in.’ Julian came in and he said, ‘Julian is gonna take me for a walk now’ and I said, ‘No you aren’t going for a walk right now.’”
The police were dispatched to his home on Feb. 4 where they found him on the floor. According to Mia, they attempted to perform CPR but were unable to revive him. Soon afterward, Mia realized that Kristoff had sent her a text.
“…We were texting back and forth. He said, 'Understand, you've got to live in the present observe all the good things in your life and others around you. Julian would not want you to live your life with bitterness and upset, it eats away with you and drains your life slowly but surely. You must rise to the occasion and accept the beauty around you. I believe in you,’” she relayed.
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A toxicology report is pending regarding Kristoff’s cause of death but it’s clear to Mia that her ex-husband’s mental state was a primary factor.
“When Julian passed, he died of a broken heart,” she said. “These mental health issues are real. Kristoff suffered from bipolar, our son had schizophrenia and I just felt like it was so hard for people to pay attention.”
Although Mia pushed back against Kristoff’s vision of his son over the phone, she now embraces that idea that he wasn’t alone when he died.
“That was the only thing. When he told me that Julian came to the door and I knew that my son came and took him home. And that was my only comfort,” she continued.
Following Julian’s death, the former couple founded the El Saber es Poder (Knowledge is Power) Foundation to battle mental illness. As Mia weathers another unspeakable loss, she is clear in her resolve to call attention to those suffering from mental illness and not getting the support they need.
“I have never been so determined to change how we treat the mentally ill in this country,” she said. “I give you my word that my fight is never going to end. And I'm going to make my boys proud."