The former Destiny's Child star revealed via Instagram in July that she had sought help for her mental health and well-being. But now, the 38-year-old singer is getting candid on the days leading up to her checking into a treatment facility.
Williams reveals in a new interview with People that, during this tumultuous time, she secretly called off her engagement to pastor Chad Johnson, who had proposed to her in March after about a year of dating.
"I thought I was over depression. I thought, 'I'm good! I've got love, I'm working out,'" Williams recalls. "But I was so angry. The rage built up in me. I did not attempt suicide, but I was questioning [life]."
"I would've understood [if he left]," she adds. "He's been praying for a wife. He didn't pray for a depressed wife."
However, the outlet reports that Williams and Johnson are now "back on track," and working on their future together through individual and premarital counseling.
"People fall off the fitness wagon, people fall off the wellness wagon, but I can’t fall off the [therapy] wagon," says Williams. "I have to get healed to live this happy life. It's not just about marrying Chad. I finally found someone to do life with."
"Some of the things said and done were very hurtful," adds Johnson. "But I was like, 'I don't even want to talk about what happened. Get well and we can work on us later.'"
Williams continues, revealing she hit her breaking point in April after performing with Beyonce and Kelly Rowland at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival.
"The entire year, we were rehearsing every day for hours. I was burying it, and before you knew it, I was looking up out of the pit like, 'Oh, my God,'" she explains. "I'd been there before in that darkness. I was like, 'No, you better go [to the hospital].' By the time I got there, I was stable."
All of this comes about a month after OWN revealed more details about Williams' previously announced reality show with Johnson. Titled Chad Loves Michelle, the unscripted series is set to air on the network on Nov. 3, and will feature "an honest inside look" at their path to marriage, along with the singer's "high-profile battle with mental health issues," according to a press release.