In an incredibly candid interview with Amanda de Cadenet for the Demi Moore produced Lifetime series The Conversation, the 26-year-old singer sits down for a frank discussion about her "lonely" teen years and how they've sculpted her into the person she is today.
"I was very depressed when I was 19," GaGa reveals of the year she dropped out of New York University to pursue music full time. "I would go back to my apartment every day and I would just sit there. It was quiet and it was lonely. It was still. It was just my piano and myself. I had a television and I would leave it on all the time just to feel like somebody was hanging out with me."
It was around this time that the music icon says she picked up cocaine, a habit she tells de Cadenet she would only indulge in alone. "It was like the drug was my friend. I never did it with other people. It's such a terrible way to fill that void, because it just adds to that void, because it's not real."
While GaGa has since kicked "the white devil," as she calls it, the loneliness that accompanied the drug use in her late teens and early 20s still follows the singer. Now and again she's says feels a bit lonely, but GaGa has learned to "cherish" her time alone.
Recently, rumors have been swirling that she and Vampire Diaries' boyfriend Taylor Kinney have called it quits. When pressed about her relationships, past and present, the music icon would only say that she is a work in progress, especially when it comes to men and sex.
"Everyone thinks I'm this sexually charged pop music maniac, which I am, but I didn't enjoy sex until I was much older," she explains. "I think about being in high school and having sex and … I think you just think it's what you're supposed to do and you're trying to figure out how to be a woman. I really encourage my fans to wait. Wait until you're old enough to know what that feels like and what it really means."