It’s official. Thanksgiving has come and gone and it’s freezing outside — well, here in L.A. it’s still in the 60’s most of the time, but it’s been raining a little lately and that’s the same thing as being snowed in, right? Being so cold you might turn into a personsicle isn’t all bad.
1. You Finally Get to Wear the “Ugly Sweater” You Actually Think Is Cool But Can’t Get Away Wearing Anytime Else. Because apparently if it has a giant, yarn Santa crocheted to the front, you can’t proudly wear it in public.
2. And Because You’re Wearing That Sweater All the Time, You Don’t Have to Worry About What’s Underneath. Goodbye bikini season, hello sweater weather, where bodies remain a mystery under that groundhog sees his shadow.
3. Which Means You Have Guaranteed Three Months Where You Can Eat Whatever You Want. Cookies? Yes. Candy? Yes. Cake? Duh. Donuts? Of course. If it’s got carbs, we’ll take it. If it’s got frosting, even better.
4. And Skip a Few Workouts Too. Can we get #NoWorkoutWinter trending? (And, if you are the type of person that wants to “keep it tight” through Christmas, first of all, how dare you? You’re making the rest of us feel guilty. And second of all, you have the whole gym to yourself. Enjoy, we guess.)
5. It’s No Longer Too Hot for Hot Chocolate. We can all agree that any time we order at a latte at the coffee shop, the beverage we all really want is hot chocolate, right? We basically have to order it now. To stay warm. Completely justified.
6. You Can Catch Up on All That Netflixing You Put Off. Merry NetfliXmas! Remember when Netflix announced they were uploading the entirety of Gilmore Girls and you were like, “Ugh, why do I have a job and friends and social responsibilities?!” It’s too cold to do anything else, enjoy an episode. Or seven. Or 153.
7. And Watch as Many Corny Christmas Movies as Possible. If your DVR isn’t recording every single Lifetime, ABC Family, and Hallmark Channel Christmas movie, then what is the point of having a DVR? How else are you going to watch [insert any star from the ‘90s] almost ruin Christmas?
8. You Can Blast Christmas Music 24/7. As soon as it snows outside, it’s fair game to play holiday music all day, every day. Or, more likely: Mariah Carey’s version of “All I Want for Christmas Is You” on repeat, all day, every day. (But like, the original one. Not a live version from 2014. Woof.)
9. No More Sitting in Traffic. At least on the weekends. Yes, you’ll probably have to sit in the snowdrift that is the highway during your work commute, but on the weekend, you do not even have to get in your car. Where are you going to go? It’s too darn cold! Stay home.
10. Every Side of the Pillow Is the Cool Side of the Pillow. Informal poll: Does anyone like being hot while you’re sleeping? Like, if you have the option to be hot or cold, would anyone pick hot? Literally no one? Sounds right. Cold outside means colder inside which means lots of blankets and pillows and burrowing at night.
11. There’s Finally a Point to Having a Fireplace. For eight months out of the year, it’s just a hole in your wall. But as soon as the temperature dips below “chilly,” throw a log on that fire and get your chestnuts roasting. How romantic! Which brings us to...
12. Gratuitous Snuggling. With any snuggler of your choice: Your boyfriend or girlfriend, your husband or wife. Your mom or dad, maybe some quality cuddle time with grandma. Snuggles with your dog or your cat. Probably not your cat. Definitely not your cat. For your own safety, do not try to cuddle your cat a gratuitous amount.
13. And If You Do Go Outside...At Least It’s Better Than a Heat Wave, Right? It was approximately 9,000 degrees this summer, but somehow we all survived. When you go outside now, you won’t sweat in places you didn’t even know you could sweat. Sure, the snow all over you will eventually melt into water which will turn to ice and you’ll freeze your butt off, but...at least you’re not too hot? Maybe?
(On second thought, still best to just stay inside.)