Why Emily Ratajkowski Feels She Can't 'Casually Date' in the Public Eye

Emily Ratajkowski
Taylor Hill/WireImage

The model got candid about her dating life on a new episode of her 'High Low' podcast.

Emily Ratajkowski is getting candid about the highs and lows of dating. During a recent episode of her podcast, High Low, the newly single model opened up about the struggles she's facing and why she feels like she can't "casually date" as someone in the public eye.

"It feels pretty weird to be watched," Ratajkowski said of paparazzi snapping her every move. "I've said this before on the podcast, but this is basically my first time being single since I was 14, so a.k.a. ever, and definitely as an adult. When I was in my 20s, I was kind of too afraid of the world and afraid of men, to really date. I remember going on a couple of dates like at 20, and in between relationships for brief, kind of moments, and feeling super uncomfortable, and not having fun with it, and so, this has been kind of my first opportunity to date and it's been really a great experience."

That being said, Ratajkowski still isn't comfortable with her private, intimate moments are plastered all over the internet.

"I've gone on dates where there's been no pictures, and I'm like, 'All good', and then there's been times where literally the first time that I've met someone, we spent 2 hours together, and there's pictures on the Internet.  My close friends will be like, 'Dude, that guy's stoked, like, he's stoked. He just got photographed on a date with you.' And then that makes me feel gross, I'm like, 'I wouldn't want to be with somebody who is excited to be photographed with me,' that's not a good sign," she explained.

The constant tabs on her dating life have made it difficult, Ratajkowski says, to date without the world or her potential suitors, knowing every move she makes.

"It's also been tough because I've been trying to casually date and not get booed up, not get cuffed up, and it's been hard to do that and be kind of mindful of the people that I'm seeing because I don't necessarily want to know when they're going on another date. It's been really hard, because basically, any time I go on another date, everybody knows, so the other guys I'm dating see it, and it has been kind of difficult, because of course they're like, 'Oh, didn't talk to her last night,' and then you know, there's pictures of me out to dinner with someone else," she explained. 

"It sucks, and it really makes it hard also, to get to know someone without those kinds of things. They know exactly where I'm at even with things that I don't necessarily want to share, and they don't necessarily want to know," the My Body author added. "So, that's been a whole other aspect of just trying to keep things casual and also be cognizant of people's feelings, and that's been kind of tricky to navigate."

Since filing for divorce from her ex-husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard, Ratajkowski's been linked to Brad Pitt, DJ Orazio Rispo and Pete Davidson, and while she's enjoying dating, the 31-year-old says she's not dating for a relationship.

"I do think that there is this kind of thing of any time I'm seen with somebody, people are like, 'Oh, they're in a relationship' and it's like, 'What if I'm just spending time with somebody?' I haven't been dating for a relationship," Ratajkowski maintained. "I'm definitely open to it if I met somebody who felt like they were additive to my life and I wanted to spend time with, but in general, I've just been trying to enjoy myself and experiences."

On the flip side, dating has also been an anxiety-inducing experience for Ratajkowski, who shares a 1-year-old son, Sylvester, with McClard.

"It is so hard when you go on a date with somebody -- I mean, I'm nervous! I'm nervous about this person, what they're gonna think about me, and then I come with this thing of like, 'There's gonna be a million pictures of you talking or walking down the street with me,' and I guess I do have some shame around that. It definitely makes me feel embarrassed, and then like I said, on the other side, I wouldn't want a guy who is like, 'Oh my god. I love that we got paparazzied last night,'" she shared.

Despite the challenges, Ratajkowski said she's going to live her life how she wants to and do what makes her happy.

"And some part of me is just like, 'Who cares? I can't control it.' And that's basically where I've been at, which is like, 'I cannot control this, so I'm just gonna live my life how I want to,'" Ratajkowski continued. "And almost, it's a little bit of a denial method, but I guess that's ultimately the thing that makes me feel the happiest, and I'm not changing what I want to do because of the way that the world is seeing me or perceiving me, but it's been a strange experience."

For more on how the model is navigating the dating world, check out the links below.