"I was like, 'If I’m gay, I’m completely f**ked for eternity.'"
Chris Martin is opening up about discovering his sexuality.
In a new Rolling Stone interview presented by Dodge, the 42-year-old Coldplay frontman reveals that he went through "a bit of a rough time" as a young teen, including "some stuff with religion and sexuality and everything" that was "brutal."
"When I went to boarding school, I walked a bit funny and I bounced a bit and I was also very homophobic because I was like, 'If I’m gay, I’m completely f**ked for eternity' and I was a kid discovering sexuality," he says. " [I thought,] 'Maybe I’m gay, maybe I’m this, maybe I’m that, I can’t be this.'"
"I was terrified and then I walked a bit funny and I was in a boarding school with a bunch of quite hardcore kids who were also gone for their thing and, for a few years, they would very much say, 'You’re definitely gay,' in quite a full-on manner, quite aggressively telling me that and it was weird for me for a few years," he adds.
Martin also recalls thinking at the time, "I don't know [if I'm gay] and even if I am, I can't be because it's wrong… If I am, I can't be,'" which caused him to face a "terrible turmoil."
"I start[ed] to worry about [being gay] for sure," he says. "About 15 and a half, I don't know what happened, I was like, 'Yeah, so what?' and then it all just stopped overnight. It was very interesting."
Though Martin says he doesn't "know what it was" that changed his point of view, he notes that it was likely due to "just growing up a bit."
"[I had] a bit more exposure to the world, thinking, 'A lot of my heroes are gay,' or whatever. Whatever they are, it doesn’t really matter," he says. "So what that did was ease a big pressure and then made me question, 'Hey maybe some of this stuff that I’m learning about God and everything -- I'm not sure if I subscribe to all of this particular religion.'"
"… So for a few years, that was a bit wobbly and then eventually I just was like, 'OK, I think I have my own relationship with what I think God is and it's not really any one religion for me," he continued.
Martin was married to Gwyneth Paltrow from 2003 to 2016, and the pair share two children, Apple, 15, and Moses, 13. As of late, Martin has been linked to Dakota Johnson. Watch the video below for more on his current relationship.
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