"I just always wish that I had more time."
In a scene from the upcoming 17th season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, which was released by E!, Kourtney talked to her sister, Khloe Kardashian, about the anxiety she felt ahead of her milestone birthday, which she celebrated back in April.
"I do think that turning 40, like, it almost makes you analyze, like, where you're at in your life... It's just giving me anxiety," she told Khloe.
Kourtney revealed that her lifestyle website, Poosh, was one of the things that makes her happy, but that it also has stressed her out.
"I just always wish that I had more time. But I feel like I want to cry," she admitted through tears. "Just 'cause it, like, gives me anxiety and I don't know why.... 'cause then I'm like, I have so much and I should just be so happy."
"But you're not happy?" Khloe asked, after offering her older sister a hug.
"I mean I am, but then sometimes I'm just, like, it makes you really, like, analyze just, like, where you're at," Kourtney responded. "And then I'm like sometimes I'm like, 'What am I doing?'"
"I'm just living life. But then sometimes... I'll just do stupid s**t to distract, like, really thinking about stuff that is maybe more important," she continued. "I don't know. But then half of me's like, 'Live your life! Have fun!'"
"And if that makes you happy, you know that's completely OK for your life," Khloe assured Kourtney. "What if you enjoy the life that you have right now? If you're happy that's all that should matter for any of us. But I really don't think your soul is happy. I think you feel incomplete somewhere. You're scared."
Despite her uncertainty about turning 40, Kourtney spared no expense for her giant party in April! The reality star celebrated with her famous family, as well as celebs including Robin Thicke, Sia and Paris Hilton.
Inside the fancy bash, Kourtney was showered with love in the form of napkins featuring some of her best quotes, a cake recreating one of her most iconic pics and personalized tequila bottles.
Watch the video below for more on the epic party.
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