Monday's episode of Bachelor in Paradise saw Blake struggle to regain his footing (Get it? Because he actually hurt himself on a rock!) after blowing up the beach with his Stagecoach drama. While pretty much no other woman wanted anything to do with him, Hannah G. gave him a shot -- only to have their beachside dance session interrupted by a fuming Dylan, who remarked at how "disrespectful" it was for Hannah to keep stringing him along.
The other ladies called Hannah a "player," and Dylan wondered if her behavior was because of a previous relationship with Blake. Cut to the promo, and it turns out Blake paid Hannah a visit in Alabama after Stagecoach and before Paradise.
Tuesday's episode was quite a ride, as Tayshia "attacked" Hannah over Blake's pre-Paradise visit, Nicole went on yet another date, and Jordan got into a physical fight with another man over piñata. Yup.
ET was live blogging along the way -- check out everything that went down below.
The Fight Continues!
The fight continues next week, as well as some drama with Hannah and Blake (because of course).
Then Paradise does "what it does best," Chris teases, as JPJ MAKES OUT with Tayshia, and Demi's girlfriend arrives. She's excited, but crying. So much is happening!
Clay tells the group that he didn't want to make Nicole feel bad. Jordan, however, isn't happy with how things turned out.
He heads over to destroy the pinata, and WE'RE IN FOR SOME DRAMA. "Christian, I'm really sorry. Clay is a good friend of mine," Jordan says, tearing up the pinata, and getting physical with Christian.
To be continued!
Clay is shockingly considering whether to cut in before Christian and Nicole even get to the pinata.
"She wants you to stand your ground and do it," Sydney encourages him.
Clay gets hyped up and walks over. "Very romantic set up, but I would like to steal Nicole for a moment," he says.
"You are not going to take her," Christian fights back. "Have a strawberry."
"I'm honestly so torn," Nicole chimes in.
Clay promises to take her right back. "Just because I don't want Nicole to be in a tough situation... have fun," Clay says, walking away.
Nicole is weighing her options of whose heart to break. Christian wants to make sure it's not him, so he sets up a pinata. He fluffs his pillows, sets up his champagne, takes a lounge and stares at Clay.
Jordan tries to rile Clay up, encouraging him to punch the pinata. "The bad guys can't win in this. The Blakes and the Christians can't win in this!" he says.
Christian takes Nicole away to her "surprise."
JPJ tells Tayshia that she makes him feel like a young Romeo, and we can't type as fast as he's speaking, so we're impressed.
Then, he forgets the words. "The camera guy's looking at me!" he says. "Anyway..."
He goes in for a kiss, and Tayshia's into it, and we're laughing.
"John Paul Jones, little poet!" she tells the camera. "Snaps for John Paul Jones!"
"He's so intellectual... usually guys like him, who talk like him, don't have a brain like him," she gushes.
"It was, yeah dude... it just felt so... Ugh! If something's too good to be true, it ain't!" he exclaims. "This is definitely one of the greatest nights of my life."
Katie and Chris are connecting, and ready to take the next step.
JPJ is chilling on the daybed by himself. "I have a little poem with Tayshia that I'm going to share with her. She's hands down the most beautiful girl here," he tells the camera. "Hopefully that, she uh, uh, is about it."
Tayshia tells the ladies that JPJ has been "a little flirty" with her but WE CAN'T GET OVER HIS WRITING PROCESS.
"What lady is that?" he asks the sky. "Which lady is that?"
"He wrote a whole Shakespearean sonnet, and he's going to recite it for her," Dean tells Caelynn.
Everyone is "feeling the waters," and Onyeka is upset that no one's making a real effort with her.
Mike realizes that his chance of getting a rose with Caelynn is slim after her date with Dean, so he's pursuing Sydney.
"I think you're so easy to talk to... but I also move slowly, and I'm trying to figure out what can be the best option that's going to grow into something," she tells him.
"I respect that," Mike says. "No. 1 reason why I like you, because of your core values."
"I'm OK with slow," Derek declares. "And just keeping open and straightforward with me."
"It could not have gone better," Demi tells the camera. "How he handled it was perfect. ... He exceeded my expectations entirely."
"I hope you know that this doesn't slow my resolve towards continuing to build a connection with you," Derek tells her.
"It makes me feel closer to her, to hear more about her," he says during his confessional.
Sharing the News
Demi prepares to break the news to Derek.
"I have been casually dating someone, and it's a woman," she tells him.
"Oh," Derek replies.
"I've been uncomfortable talking about it, because it's scary to talk about that," Demi says, sharing that she was open to coming on the show. "I'm still very much interested in you."
"I appreciate you feeling close enough to me to feel comfortable saying that," Derek replies. "Thank you for choosing to talk to me about this."
But he still has questions. "How can you both consider that and me simultaneously?" he asks her.
"Both of them are different. How I feel about her and how I feel about you, it's very different," Demi says. "I like you a lot, and I like her a lot."
Get This Party Started
It's night time, and Chris pops in to preview the rose ceremony. "The numbers are even worse this week. Nine of you ladies, 13 guys here. Four men are going home," he says. "Get to work, good luck."
"It's time to get this party started," Onyeka says, and for the first time, we wish were in Paradise to actually get the party started.
Demi takes Derek aside to presumably tell him what's going on.
Derek & Demi
Derek is worried about Demi not opening up to him. "Whatever she's saying to you, she's always going to be honest," Katie advises him -- but tells the camera that Demi needs to tell Derek exactly how she's feeling, fast.
Clay and Christian's fight heats up, until Nicole jumps in to settle it.
She says she wants to spend more time with Clay, and Christian immediately accepts it, shaking Clay's hand and walking away.
"I didn't come here to make friends," Christian says. "I don't feel threatened by any other guy. I go all out. This is a one-time thing. Let's see how bad you want it!"
"I've got way more in me, so good luck," he warns.
Clay tells Nicole it was hard to watch her walk out with someone else. "You can always be assertive," Nicole tells him, advising that he get more aggressive with her.
"I know the way you are, and you are more reserved... if I did see you go out of your way and your comfort zone... that would mean a lot to me," she says.
Christian, meanwhile, is feeling "proud" of his date with Nicole. "I came to Paradise to waste no time. I'm super confident... today's my night," he says.
Christian tells Clay that he needs to finish his date with Nicole tonight, and Clay can have her tomorrow. Clay's not having it.
"Now you're back. It's over," he tells him.
Nicole says the chemistry between her and Christian was "explosive." "He definitely was in control... it's exciting and sexy and awesome," she gushes as they head back to the group.
Nicole is worried that Clay is "too passive." "This is a crazy situation to be in," she says.
Sydney takes her aside to get the real scoop. "He embodies sex and sexiness," Nicole raves, recalling how he grabbed her and kissed her. "The opposite of my experience with Clay."
Clay says there's no other possibility for him to get a rose, and Nicole's hardcore making out with Christian.
What's a retired football player to do?
Clay is pulling a Cam, and he's venting about how tough it is to see Nicole go off with another guy. "It's a knife to the heart a little bit," he says. "I think that they'll have a connection. I just hope that ours will be better."
"Cuban women, their accent, their body, it's just out of this world," Christian says on his date with Nicole -- who says that all Latin guys think they're the sh*t.
They're speaking Spanish, and we're here for it. "I just met him, and he's already making me feel like he's my boyfriend," she tells the camera.
She plays with his hair and pulls him in for a kiss and WE'VE NEVER SEEN THIS SIDE OF HER. "Papi's getting me hot!" she exclaims.
But then, their makeout session turns into some biting, and we're so uncomfortable.
Christian takes Nicole off for a chat, and can't wait to tell her how attracted he is to her. "The moment I walked down those stairs, the first thing I saw was you... you're perfect, you're gorgeous," he tells her. "I wanna see if you wanna go on a date with me."
She accepts, and the girl who never had a one-on-one now has three!
Clay wishes she turned Christian down, but Nicole is here for herself, boo.
Jordan feels like he might be on the chopping block -- but he's not the only one. Nicole is keeping Clay on his toes (how has she become the Bachelorette of Paradise, and more importantly, how has she not cried yet?).
A new guy walks in and we don't recognize him. But lucky for us, he explains that his name is Christian from Becca's season, and he left on night one.
"He was a professional soccer player and now he's a model," JPJ says -- but how does he know?????
"None of us actually knew his name," Jordan says, recalling that Christian finally spoke up at Men Tell All. "He's not a bad looking guy," he continues, but notes a couple flaws. One, he's not a model, and two, he wore sneakers to the beach. "Go buy a pair of espadrilles!" Jordan hisses.
The Dynamic Duo We Need
Demi admits she didn't care to meet Jordan, but they couldn't get along better.
"Who's getting a rose this week? ABC!" she says.
"Anyone but Cam!" Jordan jumps in.
They roast the entire beach, and it's honestly too good.
Talking It Out
Demi sits down with Tayshia to tell her about all the self-discovery that's been going on. "I'm an openly fluid person, but I've not really made that public at all," she says. "I do like [Derek]... but I've been seeing someone before this, and I am still thinking about her."
"I'm also thinking about pursuing Derek and it's a clusterf**k," she adds. "He doesn't know at all."
Demi says it's an "uncomfortable topic" to have to talk about with Derek, but it would make her feel better if he was accepting.
"Is this something, you would date both of them?" Tayshia asks.
Demi is trying to figure it out. "I'm afraid Derek might want to give up," she tells the camera. "I don't know what being in love feels like, but I feel like with Derek, I could get there... I don't want to ruin that."
Ignoring the Signs
Dean tells Caelynn that he's ashamed of how he acted during his last go-around in Paradise, and says he feels badly about how things aren't going so well for her so far.
She doesn't want to fall for "bullsh*t," but she's into Dean. "You seem like you live a cool life."
"I feel like I'm fun, but I'm not realistic. 'He's got no job, he's got no ambition,'" he tells her, but she doesn't listen (????). He admits his traveling lifestyle doesn't lend itself to dating, but somehow he's on a dating show. And Caelynn, who is looking for a serious relationship, couldn't be more on board.
"I definitely trust him," she tells the camera, as Dean tricks her into jumping into the pool alone.
They kiss, and we have a new couple.
Kristina and Jordan call themselves a "twosome" with Cam is sitting right next to them, and MOOD.
Flash over to Caelynn's date with Dean, and she's looking to find out whether he's ready to settle down. Judging by his home on wheels, we're going to say noooooooooo.
Spoke too soon. Cam is depressed. "When you are receiving so much pain, you just get numb to it. My brain's just shut off," he says.
Caelynn says she's always been attracted to Dean. She doesn't know how she feels about the mustache, but she's into it. "I am excited and I'm ready," she gushes.
Over at the bar, Caelynn overhears Kristina talking about her drama with Blake, and she's PISSED (even though it's also her story too???). "Kristina is slut-shaming me across this entire beach," Caelynn cries... but we don't think that's what's going on here. She was also wronged by Blake, hellllooooo.
Mid-cry, Dean comes over to talk to Caelynn. Despite the drama, he asks her out on a date. "We're going to turn that frown upside down, young lady!" he yells.
Mike's feelings are hurt -- but we can only imagine how Cam feels.
Branches are out, according to Tayshia. "It smells like shade, it is shade," she tells the camera.
Caelynn, of all people, is over Blake's drama, and ready to meet someone new. What happened to Mike, girl?
With that, Dean and his 'stache greet Chris Harrison. "I felt like growing a mustache out for Mexico," Dean says, revealing he lives in a van now. "I don't really have a job... who wouldn't want me?"
Cue the "montache" of Dean's past love triangle with Kristina and Danielle. He's looking forward to atoning for his sins, but Kristina's on the beach!
Hannah Feels Attacked
Tayshia sits down with Hannah, telling her that she feels like if anyone would have understood what it's like to be blindsided, it would be Hannah (because of the whole Colton situation, cha feel?).
"Yeah, Blake came to Birmingham. I thought that was a private thing that he did... I thought this would be a better place to figure things out," Hannah says.
Tayshia says she wishes Hannah would have let her know before she went on the date with Blake.
Hannah feels "attacked." "I feel like she Mean Girl-d me," Hannah tells the camera. BUT YOU'RE REGINA GEORGE, HANNAH!!!
Tayshia is pissed to be finding out new pieces of the puzzle, which has turned into a f**king jigsaw.
"I feel like there's so many secrets," Tayshia tells Sydney and Nicole.
"She should have come to you," Sydney says. "Your whole experience is tarnished. Your whole date is a lie, basically."
Tayshia says they all defended Hannah, when they should have stood up to her, the "puppeteer." A CONFRONTATION IS COMING.
Hannah tells Dylan that Blake visited her in Birmingham, Alabama, before Paradise. "We kissed there, and then I went home," she says.
"Oh f**k," Dylan says. OH F**K INDEED. "I feel like I should have known that. It's hard to hear that they had something before this... I didn't have literally any chance with Hannah."
"If I didn't press her, I probably wouldn't have found out," Dylan tells the guys.
"Right now, she just f**ked it up," he tells the camera. "This is the ultimate slap in the face."
Dylan, meanwhile, says he feels "weird" after his confrontation with Blake and Hannah the night before. So, he pulls Hannah aside to talk to her.
"I just don't see why you're open to other things right now, if we're doing so well," he tells her.
Hannah is trying... to talk??? She is SPEAKING SO SLOWLY. PICK IT UP, GIRL. She can't explain how she's having trouble picking between Dylan and Blake.
Dylan says he can't rationalize how she's into Blake after he's "mistreated" so many people, and we agree. 10 POINTS DYLAN! "I just feel like I don't know something," Dylan says -- and his instincts are KILLER.
He's Not Even That Good Looking
"Blake wants to have sex with everybody," Kevin says. "He's not even that good looking."
TELL US MORE, KEVIN!
Tayshia and Demi say they'd "cry" if Hannah gives Blake the rose this week. "Stop making it messy for everybody else," Tayshia says.
"Hannah G.'s had her hand in a lot of the drama," she tells the camera.
Demi Opens Up to Katie
Demi confides in Katie that she's "going crazy." "I feel like there's this part of me that nobody knows about," she says. "I have been dating a woman back home. I do miss her and I think about her all the time, and I am so in with her, but trying to come here and figure out stuff about myself."
"I really don't know what I want," Demi continues. "I'm always, like, afraid of how people are going to take it."
Katie tells Demi it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, and Demi reveals that she just told her parents that she "likes boys and girls." "It was just really hard," Demi says, crying as she shares her parents took it well.
"I am tired of being tough Demi... Demi-god is a shield," she cries. "This is about showing that side of me and embracing that side of me."
Katie's crying now too as she tells Demi that she owes it to herself to be honest.
Demi and Derek Aren't So Solid
Our only established couple so far is Demi and Derek, as Cam is still sulking about Caelynn connecting with Mike.
"I have feelings for Derek, but really, in actuality, I'm conflicted about me and Derek," Demi tells the camera, sharing that she's been dating a woman back in L.A.
Derek sees a future with Demi, but notes things are hot and cold. "It's frustrating not knowing what's holding a connection back," he says.
He asks Demi about the last time she went on a date, and she cryptically tells him she'll talk about it later.
Saucy exotic music (anyone else have closed captioning?) is playing as we head into a new episode, with John Paul Jones taking a nap in the pool.
"Oh dude, tickled my jimmy a little bit!" he exclaims when he's woken up by a cannon ball.
The women still have the roses, and we're still in a love triangle between Hannah, Blake and Dylan after the guys' awkward confrontation last episode.
What a Teaser
Wow, what a teaser! Dean's mustache is here, Demi opens up about her relationship with a woman, Caelynn calls someone a stupid b**ch, and a confrontation is imminent.
Plus, "bad boy Blake!" Wahoo!
Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC. Join ET's Bachelor Nation Facebook group here.