Noah Centineo is opening up about a dark four-year period in his life. The 23-year-old actor appears on HarpersBazaar.com Men's digital cover and shares what his life was like before he got sober the day before his 21st birthday.
"There’s a syndicate of, like, 500 to 1,000 kids in the entertainment industry that are all trying to make it right now that all they do Monday to Monday is party every night," Centineo says.
Centineo and his pals, he says, would "take Molly and talk for five hours and like get to the bottom of some really deeply philosophical existential questions."
In addition to taking Molly, Centineo says that he would try "everything" during that period of his life, when he "couch-surfed in the Valley and Hollywood for, like, four years."
"There wasn’t really much I wouldn’t do," he says. "I never, ever injected anything, which is good. I smoked a lot of things. I was really upset, man. It was a really dark time in my life."
The party period occurred after his parents' divorce when he was 15. Following their split, Centineo lived in a hotel room with his mom, while his dad and sister lived elsewhere.
"As the 15-year-old living in close quarters with my mom, I felt an obligation to step up and fill a role, fill a position that was vacant at that time, you know, and in doing so, I bristled and I kind of shoved down a lot of emotion," he explains.
"I like baths. I like meditation. I like journaling," he says. "I talk to myself a lot if I’m mad at something that I did. I’ll scream at myself, really, like, looking in the mirror, right? Like, in my room. Like, 'Dude, like, stop, this is f**king unacceptable. You’re better than this!'"
"I hold myself very accountable, but I can talk myself off of ledges too. And that’s a strong thing," he adds.
When it comes to relationships, Centineo says he's, in the past, been "super compulsive and obsessive in my relationships, like, 24/7, all in." Currently, he's dating model Alexis Ren, who he's been with for almost one year.
"It’s the longest relationship I’ve ever been in," he says. "She’s very good at monogamy. Actually, I love monogamy too."
His inner growth and mature relationship have had a physical manifestation too, namely his decision to chop off his long, shaggy hair, for which he was known for, into a buzz cut.
"Some people in my life think that I’ve kind of shifted into a more masculine brooding type. They treat me differently. People are more intimidated... Maybe not intimidated but… a little timid," he says. "The buzz cut guy with scars on his face is a little different than, like, long-hair cute boy."
That change in perception doesn't bother Centineo, who will soon be taking on the role of He-Man.
"I don’t really care how people find me or why they like me," he says. "If I can maybe help them in some way through them discovering me, that makes it worth it. I found that’s the only thing that really matters is how you make people feel."