'90 Day Fiance': Darcey Talks Discovering Photos of Tom With Another Woman (Exclusive)
By Antoinette Bueno
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90 Day Fiance star Darcey Silva says fans will see a more empowered side of her when it comes to her relationship with her British boyfriend, Tom, on this season of 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days.
Season 4 of the hit TLC reality series so far has shown 45-year-old Darcy continuing to be on shaky ground when it comes to where she stands with Tom. The two tentatively decided to give their relationship another shot during the tell-all special that aired in October, but on Sunday's episode, long-distance communication between the two continued to be tense and Darcey is devastated when she discovers photos that Tom posted on social media that show him looking cozy with another woman. Darcey says she saw the photos through her twin sister, Stacey's, fiance, who's still friends with Tom. Meanwhile, she says that she and Tom blocked one another on social media after a fight.
Still, despite the photos -- and Darcey's fear that Tom just wants to meet with her to break up with her in person, much like her experience with her ex-boyfriend, Jesse, which also played out on TLC cameras -- she decides to still meet Tom in New York to see where they stand. ET's Lauren Zima spoke with Darcey on Thursday through video chat as she stays safe in Connecticut with her two daughters amid the coronavirus pandemic, and she talked about what viewers can expect from her trip to New York.
"He knew at the time exactly how I felt, there was a little bit of a lack of communication during the time," she tells ET. "We chose to give things another go and I just felt like I deserve the respect of communication and to not be dangled, you can say in a sense. And when I saw the pictures, he knew I felt how I felt about it, but I think through communication, you can understand what happened, what is going on. I don't like to be left in the dust. So, when you're in a relationship, you just want to know exactly what's going on. I deserve that respect, so, he did happen to come to New York for business and we decided to meet and you guys will see the outcome."
"I was open to see what he had to say, I just didn't want to feel confused about where we were in the relationship and what I meant to him," she continues to explain. "Do you love me? Are we together? You know, just be honest. I shouldn't have to wait to see if you're ready for a relationship or not."
She says that ultimately, she never felt she got the same respect from Tom as she gave him.
"When I got back home, the communication kind of broke down again," she acknowledges. "I personally am used to long distance, maybe he wasn't, so the fear of that made him second guess certain things, but, I was always there for him. I was always very open about how I felt for him. He knew exactly how I felt and I just wanted that same respect in return."
Darcey reflects on the differences between her relationship with her ex, 27-year-old Jesse, who hails from Amsterdam, and her relationship with Tom. Darcey says she and Jesse had a very strong physical attraction and had a "toxic, fiery" and "passionate" relationship, while she and Tom had a very close emotional bond which they developed over years of chatting online. As for Jesse's claims that he and Tom are now friends -- despite Tom knowing Darcey's bad blood with Jesse -- she chooses to take the high road.
"You can't really stop what people choose to do," she says about a possible friendship between her exes. "If that's what they want, that's what they want."
And Darcey says that despite her reputation for being very emotional on the show -- Sunday's episode had her crying over Tom during a spa trip with a close friend and Stacey -- viewers will not continue to see that side of her.
"I don't think you guys will see many more tears," she says. "I think you guys will hear my own voice more, what I deserve and what I want in the relationship. I think people will understand who I am as a person."
"Stacey and I are very tight-knit," she says. "People will see a little more of our story -- past, present and future. We always have each other's backs in the end. I know we have our moments ... but it's because we love each other and we want each other to have the best."
Darcey -- who joked that she has plenty of experience communicating through FaceTime as we all are now encouraged to self-quarantine -- also has tips for those trying to date during social distancing.
"You can communicate with your heart and voice, just know that communication is key in long-distance relationships and just be honest and open about what you do want in a relationship so you don't waste time," she says.
"Stay strong, stay empowered," she adds. "Never let anyone take your power away. Stay strong and be there for the ones you love the most."
90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on TLC. For more with Darcey, watch the video below: