In a new interview with Evening Standard, the 46-year-old actress talks about being initially mocked for using the term "conscious uncoupling" when the two announced their split in 2014, and why it made so much sense to her.
"We were separated for a year before we announced we were separated," she says. "We kept it very quiet, and in that time I asked adult friends with divorced parents what they remembered. There was this resounding theme: 'It was really hard because for the first two years my parents didn’t speak. It was awful for a while,' or 'My parents hated each other.' And I thought, 'I would really love to skip that part.' Those kids felt they were constantly betraying one parent by being with the other."
Clearly, Paltrow and Martin have managed to remain close co-parents to their two children, 14-year-old daughter Apple and 12-year-old son Moses. Martin and the kids even recently joined Paltrow on her honeymoon with new husband Brad Falchuk.
"I think we’ve managed to really stay a family," she notes. "[Chris] is a very close friend; I see him every day, I talk to him every day. And it was very difficult, but I think you see in the children that they got through it, so I am proud of us, I really am. We kept to our commitment that we would put the children first."
As for their marriage, she has no regrets, and says she and 41-year-old Martin were "meant to be together" and have children.
"Family structure can be reinvented and divorce doesn’t have to be devastating," she says. "It doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship with somebody. I think Chris and I were meant to be together and have our kids. But our relationship is much better like this: friends and co-parents and family."
These days, Paltrow is adamant that she doesn't want any more children.
"Good lord, no. I’m too old," she says bluntly. "It’s great that women are able to have babies late into their 40s, but… I mean, pfffff. I don’t think I could be up all night. I wouldn’t survive."
The Goop founder later opens up about her relationship with her teenage daughter, and says she reminds her of herself growing up.
"You know I’m having ... I’m afraid to say it out loud, but a great experience with her," she shares of Apple. "She’s so smart and sweet and so funny. And she’s a bit naughty. But my father said something to me when I apologized to him in my 20s for what I was like when I was 15 -- sneaking out and having a party when they were on holiday. He said: 'You were bad in all the ways you are supposed to be bad.' He said the only time you need to worry about a kid is when they are outside-the-box bad."
"So, I’m looking at [Apple] through the lens of, 'This is what she is supposed to be doing,'" she continues. "If you look at it like that, then you don’t freak out. You don’t judge them. You don’t shame them. You try to keep them on track and have good conversations. So far, so good. ... But let’s check back in."