Ariana Grande is giving some insight into her whirlwind romance with Pete Davidson and why it may have ended.
The 26-year-old singer covers Vogue magazine's August 2019 issue and opens up about their highly publicized relationship. The two got engaged last June after less than a month of dating, but split in October of that same year. Looking back, Grande says meeting the 25-year-old Saturday Night Live star was a "distraction" after breaking up with late rapper Mac Miller.
"My friends were like, 'Come! We're gonna have a fun summer,'" she says of moving out of Los Angeles and to New York last year. "And then I met Pete, and it was an amazing distraction. It was frivolous and fun and insane and highly unrealistic, and I loved him, and I didn't know him."
"I'm like an infant when it comes to real life and this old soul, been-around-the-block-a-million-times artist," she continues. "I still don't trust myself with the life stuff."
"People don't see any of the real stuff that happens, so they are loud about what they think happened," she tells Vogue about the memorable tweet. "They didn't see the years of work and fighting and trying, or the love and exhaustion. That tweet came from a place of complete defeat, and you have no idea how many times I warned him that that would happen and fought that fight, for how many years of our friendship, of our relationship. You have no idea so you're not allowed to pull that card, because you don't f**king know. That's where that came from."
"It's pretty all-consuming," she says of her grief over Miller. "By no means was what we had perfect, but, like, f**k. He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had. I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming . . . less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away."
Grande used music to cope with Miller's death, putting out her chart-topping album, Thank U, Next, in February 2019. She also notes that now, for the first time in a long time, she is single.
"But if I'm completely honest, I don't remember those months of my life because I was (a) so drunk and (b) so sad," she says of making Thank U, Next. "I don't really remember how it started or how it finished, or how all of a sudden there were 10 songs on the board."
"I think that this is the first album and also the first year of my life where I'm realizing that I can no longer put off spending time with myself, just as me," she continues. "I've been boo'd up my entire adult life. I've always had someone to say goodnight to. So Thank U, Next was this moment of self-realization. It was this scary moment of 'Wow, you have to face all this stuff now. No more distractions. You have to heal all this sh**.'"
Throughout all of the trauma Grande has experienced, she has notably always been open on social media with her fans.
"This is a me-and-them thing," she explains. "I'm not taking one of those corny breaks from social media where you're like, 'The internet hurts me, I'm leaving, goodbye.' But I've definitely established a new boundary. I don't want to get myself into some sh**."
Clearly, the pain of Miller's death is still fresh for Grande. The singer broke down in tears last month while performing in his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Watch the video below for more: